IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about his problem?

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Despite the fact that some measures have been taken into account in
order
Use synonyms
 to struggle against scarcity, the percentage of people who are suffering from famine has peaked during the
last
Linking Words
 decades. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will explain the reason why
this
Linking Words
 event has (been) occurred and what type of actions should be taken by governments. To start with, it is well-known that all monetary resources are not equally distributed around the world. There are some wealthy countries that have had the main impact since ancient times and their economies have rocketed,
while
Linking Words
 there are many others that live under unhealthy conditions
due to
Linking Words
 their poverty.
As a consequence
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 of
this
Linking Words
, most companies desire to make investments in regions where the richest companies are located.
For example
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, in the United States, factories have been built in
order
Use synonyms
 to produce a high amount of organic food because of its impact on health,
while
Linking Words
 in Colombia the usage of pesticides has risen
due to
Linking Words
 the necessity to maintain the cheapest crops.
According to
Linking Words
 the aforementioned,
although
Linking Words
 many measures have been proposed in
order
Use synonyms
 to ameliorate agricultural issues, those actions have been performed mostly in countries that are powerful.
Nevertheless
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, some worldwide non-profit organizations have dictated solutions which have been converted into rules and policies to be executed in
order
Use synonyms
 to make betterments among countries under scarcity.
For instance
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, The Worldwide Health Organization has created some guidelines where the types of nutrients that the population must intake have been prescribed.
Consequently
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, all governors have to guarantee those foods in their areas without boundaries.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 general resources are unfairly distributed in the world, mainly explained by the corruption of governors.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, some worldwide laws have been signed in
order
Use synonyms
 to establish the minimum requirements governments should supply to their communities.

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coherence cohesion
Your essay provides a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, which is good. However, ensure there's a smooth flow between ideas to improve coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Try using more linking words and phrases to connect your ideas better. This will help in maintaining a logical structure throughout the essay.
task achievement
While your response covers the main points, try to be more specific in your explanations and examples. For instance, provide clearer examples of inefficient distribution of resources.
task achievement
Be cautious with word choices and grammatical structures to avoid minor errors. For instance, "why this event has occurred" instead of "why this event has (been) occurred."
task achievement
You have taken a clear stance and addressed both parts of the task effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and logical structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • inequality
  • distribution
  • access to resources
  • climate change
  • natural disasters
  • political factors
  • economic factors
  • agricultural practices
  • infrastructure
  • transportation
  • population growth
  • education
  • knowledge
  • food waste
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