In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about his problem?
Despite the fact that some measures have been taken into account in
order
to struggle against scarcity, the percentage of people who are suffering from famine has peaked during the last
decades. In this
essay, I will explain the reason why this
event has (been) occurred and what type of actions should be taken by governments.
To start with, it is well-known that all monetary resources are not equally distributed around the world. There are some wealthy countries that have had the main impact since ancient times and their economies have rocketed, while
there are many others that live under unhealthy conditions due to
their poverty. As a consequence
of this
, most companies desire to make investments in regions where the richest companies are located. For example
, in the United States, factories have been built in order
to produce a high amount of organic food because of its impact on health, while
in Colombia the usage of pesticides has risen due to
the necessity to maintain the cheapest crops.
According to
the aforementioned, although
many measures have been proposed in order
to ameliorate agricultural issues, those actions have been performed mostly in countries that are powerful. Nevertheless
, some worldwide non-profit organizations have dictated solutions which have been converted into rules and policies to be executed in order
to make betterments among countries under scarcity. For instance
, The Worldwide Health Organization has created some guidelines where the types of nutrients that the population must intake have been prescribed. Consequently
, all governors have to guarantee those foods in their areas without boundaries.
To sum up
, it is clear that
general resources are unfairly distributed in the world, mainly explained by the corruption of governors. Nevertheless
, some worldwide laws have been signed in order
to establish the minimum requirements governments should supply to their communities.Submitted by luciaagudelomotta on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay provides a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, which is good. However, ensure there's a smooth flow between ideas to improve coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Try using more linking words and phrases to connect your ideas better. This will help in maintaining a logical structure throughout the essay.
task achievement
While your response covers the main points, try to be more specific in your explanations and examples. For instance, provide clearer examples of inefficient distribution of resources.
task achievement
Be cautious with word choices and grammatical structures to avoid minor errors. For instance, "why this event has occurred" instead of "why this event has (been) occurred."
task achievement
You have taken a clear stance and addressed both parts of the task effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and logical structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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