These days, many people watch sports on TV. Do you thing the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #sports #tv

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Nowadays, Watching sports

game

Fix the agreement mistake

games

show examples

television

have

Change the verb form

has

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become a major trend.

Although

there are plenty of drawbacks, I believe that the benefits are much more accessible for people. Despite the drawbacks below, I think the advantages of saving money

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

a crucial and useful one. To be specific, it is much cheaper to watch sports games on

television

as supporters only have to pay a little money to get access.

By contrast

, you have to pay the entrance fee for almost three or four times more.

Furthermore

, if the stadium or arena is far away from

wherethe

Correct your spelling

where the

audiences

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audience

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live

Correct subject-verb agreement

lives

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, it might cost extra fees.

Secondly

, the

time

of watching games is free, if the

sports

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sport

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is taking place in another region or a country, the

time

of the game would be

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midnight when people are sleeping,

this

means that individuals could watch the replay whenever

thay

Correct your spelling

they

have spare

time

. Admittedly, there are a few fundamental disadvantages

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show examples

watching

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

games on

television

. One obvious problem is that spectators are unable to experience the passion. Simply put, the atmosphere in the stadiums is more elegant,

such

as fans shouting and cheering.

However

this

opinion is not strong enough as not all spectators like the

noisesand

Correct your spelling

noises and

some audiences could still find their own friends to watch with them. Another detrimental aspect is that it is unhealthy

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for

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the supporters. To explain, always sitting in front of a

television

might lead to a sedentary lifestyle.

In addition

, people would gradually become lazy and rusty, which will

also

influence their food

habit

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habits

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, namely junk food.

To sum up

, the benefits of saving money

as well as

free

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apply

show examples

time

could clearly outweigh some basic drawbacks

Submitted by s_syedy on Wed Jun 05 2024

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coherence cohesion

The essay should have a clearer logical structure. Each paragraph should focus on a single key idea, presented in a clear and organized manner.

coherence cohesion

Make sure that the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed in the essay while reinforcing your opinion.

task response

Develop your main points more comprehensively. Include specific examples and explanations to support your arguments better.

task response

Try using more varied sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance clarity and engagement.

task response

You address both advantages and disadvantages, showing a balanced approach to the topic.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

282 words

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These days, many people watch sports on TV. Do you thing the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

PERSONAL INFORMATION These days more people put their personal information, such as names, addresses and telephone numbers, online for everyday activities such as socializing on social networks or banking purposes. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

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Some people prefer to be self-employed, whereas others like working for companies or institutions. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of both approaches. Which do you think is a better approach?

Some schools are very strict about their school uniforms and the appearance of their pupils, while other schools have a very relaxed dress code. What are the advantages and disadvantages of children of having a school uniform?