In many countries, the number of animals and plants is decling. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?

Recently, flora and fauna throughout the world
is
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are
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getting more and more deteriorated, which results in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
decrease in their amount.
This
problem has occurred for a long time
due to
human activities in fulfilling desires. Despite that, it can be resolved by organizing preservation both in
lab
Correct article usage
the lab
show examples
and
nature
Change preposition
in nature
show examples
. The primary reason for
this
situation is, indeed, a series of negative impacts. It started with the Third
Industry
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Industrial
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Revolution when
people
found
the
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a
show examples
way to be efficient in work by using fossil fuel to operate
machine
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machines
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, which is really harmful
for
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to
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the environment. After that event,
human
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the human
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population
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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flourished over the next decades
due to
advancements in multiple fields
such
as medical drugs, constructing techniques and supplying food.
Thus
, to solve
demand
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the demand
show examples
for places to reside,
people
began to deforest and expand their lands which destroyed natural shelters for species,
as a consequence
, they would be extinct.
Additionally
, human action
also
leads to significant climate change and, unintentionally,
killed
Wrong verb form
kills
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hundreds of animals and vegetation.
Furthermore
, poaching to make “magical medicine” is happening in every nation, especially the rhino in Africa, they went extinct when groups of
people
tried to take their horn, which is their
solely
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sole
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defensive tool, and let other carnivores
devoured
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devour
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them.
Therefore
, human interruption
to
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of
show examples
nature’s life has created various issues that
make
Verb problem
cause
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natural creatures
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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to undergo severe effects.
However
,
this
can be tackled by humans ourselves. The priority and most effective way is preserving
in
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apply
show examples
their natural habitats. By recruiting
scientist
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scientists
show examples
and guards,
people
could observe negative changes
of
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in
show examples
these species
as well as
protect them from potential dangers. Alternatively, recreating
gene
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genes
show examples
in
laboratory
Add an article
the laboratory
a laboratory
show examples
is another suitable method when maintaining
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
biodiversity.
For example
, in 2013, Japanese researchers were able to “resurrect” the
long-
Correct your spelling
long-lost
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last
genes of
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
native plants. In conclusion, human activities throughout centuries have contributed to
Correct article usage
the lost
show examples
lost
Replace the word
loss
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of habitats and climate change, beside that,
people
tend to hunt exotic animals mindlessly.
Although
this
is becoming more serious, some techniques can be applied
such
as outdoor and indoor conservation, but these should be aware of
due to
their lavish process and low chance
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
success.
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coherence cohesion
Although you have addressed the task and provided relevant reasons and solutions, organizing ideas more clearly and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear central topic can improve coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
While you provided some relevant examples, ensuring that each point is supported with a specific and detailed example can strengthen your essay. Additionally, providing more logical connections between ideas within paragraphs can enhance the support for your main points.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the task effectively, but improving the development of ideas and the clarity of your argument can lead to a higher score. For example, providing more detailed explanations on how pollutants and deforestation affect biodiversity would be beneficial.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states the issue and offers a broad overview of the reasons and solutions.
task achievement
You use a variety of vocabulary and try to address complex ideas, which is commendable.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay, including introduction and conclusion, is clear and logical. The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points.

Your opinion

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem
  • urbanization
  • deforestation
  • agricultural expansion
  • pollution control
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • renewable energy
  • sustainable practices
  • overexploitation
  • invasive species
  • conservation
  • quarantine measures
  • eradication programs
  • public awareness campaigns
  • habitat destruction
  • climate change
  • natural habitats
  • species decline
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