Too much emphasis is given or educating of the young. More government money should be spent to free time activity of young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In today’s development era, some people believe that education places too much emphasis on students which led to others arguing
this
money should be spent on rest movement. In this
essay, I totally agree with this
statement.
Firstly
, spending on break space activity has many positive effects on students’ health and fitness. This
is because taking a rest after a hard studying in school makes them play some activities which improve their strength, and make some parts of their body more flexible and mobility. Also
, this
prevents students from some mental issues such
as stress and headaches. In addition
, playing activities helps senior’s behaviour and mindfulness more active. For example
, scientists do some research about learning effectively which shows that taking a break after studying for a long time plays an important role in the learner’s thinking because this
is a strong connection between body and mindfulness in humans so when we play some games like sports, our frame will be active and flexible that lead to a sharp agility thinking.
Secondly
, playing some sports after learning for a long hour in the morning makes people feel more conscious and this
also
totally aware of all of the parts of our body such
as the eyes, and brain and improves the brain system state in our mind. Furthermore
, doing some active action in the morning provides good nutrition due to
the light of the sun. This
affects positively to the torso system positively because it will adjust the hormones to re-regulate the core after awakening in the morning. Therefore
, this
benefit helps students study with more productivity, flexibility and effectiveness in the next long time studying lessons.
In conclusion, governments in many countries should spend their money on break time activities because of its positive benefits on mental and physical health.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear stance and responds to the task, but it can be enriched by including more precise examples and deeper explanations.
coherence cohesion
The ideas are logically organized, but the paragraphs could flow more smoothly with the use of linking words and cohesive devices.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction sets up the essay well, and the conclusion summarizes your points, but the main body paragraphs could benefit from clearer topic sentences and a tighter connection between ideas.
task achievement
You provide a comprehensive and clear response to the task, making your stance evident.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame your essay, giving it a clear structure.
task achievement
You cite scientific research to back up your points, which strengthens your argument.