Too much emphasis is given or educating of the young. More government money should be spent to free time activity of young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#emphasis #government #money #time #activity #people

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In today’s development era, some people believe that education places too much emphasis on students which led to others arguing

this

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money should be spent on rest movement. In

this

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essay, I totally agree with

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statement.

Firstly

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, spending on break space activity has many positive effects on students’ health and fitness.

This

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is because taking a rest after a hard studying in school makes them play some activities which improve their strength, and make some parts of their body more flexible and mobility.

Also

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this

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prevents students from some mental issues

such

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as stress and headaches.

In addition

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, playing activities helps senior’s behaviour and mindfulness more active.

For example

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, scientists do some research about learning effectively which shows that taking a break after studying for a long time plays an important role in the learner’s thinking because

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is a strong connection between body and mindfulness in humans so when we play some games like sports, our frame will be active and flexible that lead to a sharp agility thinking.

Secondly

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, playing some sports after learning for a long hour in the morning makes people feel more conscious and

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also

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totally aware of all of the parts of our body

such

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as the eyes, and brain and improves the brain system state in our mind.

Furthermore

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, doing some active action in the morning provides good nutrition

due to

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the light of the sun.

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affects positively to the torso system positively because it will adjust the hormones to re-regulate the core after awakening in the morning.

Therefore

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this

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benefit helps students study with more productivity, flexibility and effectiveness in the next long time studying lessons. In conclusion, governments in many countries should spend their money on break time activities because of its positive benefits on mental and physical health.

Wed Jun 05 2024

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task achievement

Your essay presents a clear stance and responds to the task, but it can be enriched by including more precise examples and deeper explanations.

coherence cohesion

The ideas are logically organized, but the paragraphs could flow more smoothly with the use of linking words and cohesive devices.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction sets up the essay well, and the conclusion summarizes your points, but the main body paragraphs could benefit from clearer topic sentences and a tighter connection between ideas.

task achievement

You provide a comprehensive and clear response to the task, making your stance evident.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame your essay, giving it a clear structure.

task achievement

You cite scientific research to back up your points, which strengthens your argument.

10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

6.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

7.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

6.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

301 words

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Too much emphasis is given or educating of the young. More government money should be spent to free time activity of young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Health services are a basic necessity. However, private companies have made them quite costly for ordinary individuals. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh its disadvantages?

Some people claim that museums and art galleries are not needed today because everyone can see historical objects or art works by computer. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some parents buy their children whatever they ask for, and allow their children to do whatever they want? Is this a good way to raise children? What consequences could this style of parenting have for children as they get older?