Parents will provide food and housing to their children throughout their lives. However, when parents become old, many children do not want to take care of them, and will instead send them to a nursing home or leave them alone. Do children have a duty to take care of their elderly parents? Or should someone else be responsible?

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Although
Linking Words
taking care of elderly
parents
Use synonyms
is a crucial mission of the
children
Use synonyms
, there is still some rejection
coupled with
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sending the older to social houses among those
children
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
writer believes that the
children
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should
assuume
Correct your spelling
assume
the
responsibilities
Fix the agreement mistake
responsibility
show examples
of maintaining a sustainable living standard for their
parents
Use synonyms
instead
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of the government owing to proving
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
humanity
along with
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the reduction of
financial
Add an article
a financial
the financial
show examples
burden on the local authorities. It must be acknowledged that repaying gratitude for being nurtured
thoughout
Correct your spelling
throughout
the mature years is essentially required. To explain
further
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,
parents
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continually offer their
children
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educational attendances, serve almost personal demands, and demonstrate unconditional love.
Conseuquently
Correct your spelling
Consequently
, the obvious humanity
Add the comma(s)
, as well as appreciation compulsorily,
show examples
as well as
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appreciation compulsorily proved
trhough
Correct your spelling
through
the willingness to take care of their
parents
Use synonyms
when they become older.
Therefore
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, giving assistance
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
nursing elderly
parents
Use synonyms
should be prioritised over any other desires. Another point worth considering is that the local authorities can allocate the budget for other potential aspects
instead
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of focusing
pn
Correct your spelling
on
raising the elderly. To gain
further
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insights, the resistance to looking after
parents
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by the
children
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urges
Change the verb form
urge
show examples
the administration to construct nursing
hbomes
Correct your spelling
homes
and provide free social welfare services.
As a result
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, the government suffers from
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
shortage of budget that
diminish
Correct subject-verb agreement
diminishes
show examples
other developing fields.
Thus
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, the refusion of caring
parents
Use synonyms
is prone to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
inadequate spending so as to enhance the country as a whole.
To sum up
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briefly . raising
parents
Use synonyms
are inclined to
children
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’s duties
due to
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the evidence of morality and the mitigation of
fianancial
Correct your spelling
financial
harship
Correct your spelling
hardship
.
Hence
Linking Words
, providing good living conditions for
parents
Use synonyms
must be in charge of the
children
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

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grammar
Revisit and correct minor grammatical errors such as 'Conseuquently' (Consequently), 'trhough' (through), 'fianancial' (financial), etc. Enhancing the grammatical accuracy will improve overall readability.
examples
Include specific examples or anecdotes to strengthen your arguments. For instance, you could mention personal experiences or societal observations to illustrate the importance of taking care of elderly parents. This will make your essay more engaging and convincing.
cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Using transitional phrases and words like 'Furthermore,' 'In addition,' or 'Moreover' can improve the flow of ideas and create a clearer logical structure.
task response
The essay addresses the topic comprehensively and presents a clear stance: children should take responsibility for their elderly parents.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, reflecting a well-organized structure.
task response
The essay demonstrates a good understanding of the moral and financial aspects associated with the responsibility of taking care of elderly parents.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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