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Writing Samples
Band 8

Government spending on restoration of old buildings in cities should be stopped. Instead they should spend the money for housing and road development. Do you agree or disagree?

#government #restoration #buildings #cities #money #road #development
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Governments of all nations spend huge amounts of money on the reconstruction and maintenance of historical
buildings
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. Some people argue that spending that much amount should be inhibited and it should be invested in accommodation and the development of roads.
Although
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 the expansion of housing and roads is
also
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 necessary, I firmly believe that the restoration of old
monuments
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 is very vital as it will boost tourism
as well as
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 for the sake of its city residents' safety. As the age of every building passes,it becomes weak and it can undergo corrosion. If the proper maintenance is not done and at the correct time, it can lead to a risk to citizens' lives living nearby. To illustrate, near our village, there was a very famous bridge which was constructed before the Independence and it was not renovated after that.
Last
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 year in 2023, the bridge fell costing the lives of more than 70 people. So, it is mandatory to have restoration of old
monuments
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 to ensure the safety of all natives. Historical
monuments
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also
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 help in boosting the tourism of the city and country. Tourists visit all parts of the world not only to visit historical
buildings
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 but
also
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 to learn about the history of these.
For example
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, India has so many old famous
monuments
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 like the Taj Mahal, and Lal Kila and people all over the world travel to India to visit these historical palaces.
Therefore
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, these old
buildings
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 are a blessing when it comes to boosting tourism.
To conclude
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, It is vital to spend money on improving the infrastructure of urban areas but I strongly believe that the renovation of old
buildings
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 is equally important as it attracts tourists as well to ensure the safety of residents.
Submitted by anash.suhail on

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coherence
Improve the clarity of the main argument by ensuring that each point directly supports your thesis. This will enhance the overall coherence.
cohesion
Work on developing a more consistent linking word usage throughout the essay to ensure smoother transitions between ideas.
task achievement
The essay provides clear and comprehensive ideas that support the argument.
task achievement
Relevant and specific examples were used effectively to illustrate points.
coherence cohesion
A strong conclusion that reiterates and summarizes the main points effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • historic
  • heritage
  • preservation
  • conservation
  • restoration
  • urban development
  • housing
  • road infrastructure
  • tourism
  • revenue
  • community
  • identity
  • property values
  • craftsmanship
  • architectural styles
  • job creation
  • economic growth
  • compromise
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