Some people believe more actions can be takes to prevent crime, whole others think that little can be done. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#people #actions #crime

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There is a common view that additional

measures

should be introduced to minimise

crime

whereas

other people believe these solutions will not be effective.

This

essay will demonstrate that more actions are required to reduce

crime

levels in order to create a safer and more pleasant

society

. It must be recognised that

crime

is one of the most critical issues facing

society

today, which can be tackled by improving

security

in both private and public locations. It is widely accepted that enhanced

security

methods are successful in determining criminals and illegal

activity

. Banks,

for example

, are often targeted by individuals hoping to make a quick profit,

however

, they are fitted with a variety of technological features which make it difficult for thieves to avoid capture. These other places should be equipped with similar

security

measures

to lower instances of

crime

Conversely

, there is an opinion that illegal

activity

can be prevented

due to

the existence of social inequality within

society

. Factors

such

as wealth, education employment opportunities and physical appearance can create divisions within the community which results in a hierarchy where those near the bottom find it difficult to earn a living,

thus

turning to criminal

activity

For instance

, street

crime

is prevalent in Vietnam because thieves want to steal valuable items like smartphones, which they trade for cash, so they can afford to look after themselves and their families. regardless of actions taken to prevent

crime

, these individuals will continue to offer in order to survive. From my perspective, I believe criminal

activity

can be successfully reduced through

further

measures

in addition

to enhancing

security

. To elaborate, it is vital to improve criminals' awareness of a life away from

crime

and give them opportunities to reintegrate positively into

society

For instance

, many European countries have rehabilitation programmes for criminals where they can participate in community projects in order to gain valuable work experience and earn a basic salary.

This

solution can not only reduce the

crime

rate but

also

bring benefits to the local population. Taking everything into account, it is clear through a combination of improved

security

and reducing offenders,

crime

prevention can be accomplished.

This

essay has demonstrated that those

measures

can be effective over a longer period of time.

Wed Jun 05 2024

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task achievement

Your essay presents a clear discussion of both viewpoints and your opinion, but the introduction could be slightly clearer about what your main conclusion will be. Also, ensure that transitions between ideas are smooth. For instance, rather than saying 'Conversely', you might say 'On the other hand'.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that all sentences within a paragraph clearly support the main point of that paragraph. Additionally, try to provide more specific examples for each point made. For instance, giving a specific statistic about the success of rehabilitation programs could strengthen your argument.

structure

Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

examples

You successfully provided relevant examples to support your main points, such as the citation of security measures in banks and the street crime in Vietnam.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

374 words

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Some people believe more actions can be takes to prevent crime, whole others think that little can be done. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people feel that the legal age at which people can marry should be at least 21. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

An increasing number of people of all ages are getting information from electronic products, and some people tend to argue printed books as well as magazines are no longer needed. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family and friends. To that extent do you agree or disagree.

Some people prefer to be in the same kind of job their entire life, but others like to change their jobs frequently. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think the government should invest more money in teaching science than other subjects in order for a country to develop and progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree?