Some people believe more actions can be takes to prevent crime, whole others think that little can be done. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#people #actions #crime

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There is a common view that additional

measures

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should be introduced to minimise

crime

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whereas

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other people believe these solutions will not be effective.

This

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essay will demonstrate that more actions are required to reduce

crime

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levels in order to create a safer and more pleasant

society

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. It must be recognised that

crime

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is one of the most critical issues facing

society

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today, which can be tackled by improving

security

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in both private and public locations. It is widely accepted that enhanced

security

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methods are successful in determining criminals and illegal

activity

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. Banks,

for example

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, are often targeted by individuals hoping to make a quick profit,

however

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, they are fitted with a variety of technological features which make it difficult for thieves to avoid capture. These other places should be equipped with similar

security

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measures

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to lower instances of

crime

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Conversely

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, there is an opinion that illegal

activity

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can be prevented

due to

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the existence of social inequality within

society

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. Factors

such

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as wealth, education employment opportunities and physical appearance can create divisions within the community which results in a hierarchy where those near the bottom find it difficult to earn a living,

thus

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turning to criminal

activity

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For instance

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, street

crime

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is prevalent in Vietnam because thieves want to steal valuable items like smartphones, which they trade for cash, so they can afford to look after themselves and their families. regardless of actions taken to prevent

crime

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, these individuals will continue to offer in order to survive. From my perspective, I believe criminal

activity

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can be successfully reduced through

further

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measures

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in addition

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to enhancing

security

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. To elaborate, it is vital to improve criminals' awareness of a life away from

crime

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and give them opportunities to reintegrate positively into

society

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For instance

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, many European countries have rehabilitation programmes for criminals where they can participate in community projects in order to gain valuable work experience and earn a basic salary.

This

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solution can not only reduce the

crime

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rate but

also

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bring benefits to the local population. Taking everything into account, it is clear through a combination of improved

security

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and reducing offenders,

crime

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prevention can be accomplished.

This

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essay has demonstrated that those

measures

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can be effective over a longer period of time.

Wed Jun 05 2024

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task achievement

Your essay presents a clear discussion of both viewpoints and your opinion, but the introduction could be slightly clearer about what your main conclusion will be. Also, ensure that transitions between ideas are smooth. For instance, rather than saying 'Conversely', you might say 'On the other hand'.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that all sentences within a paragraph clearly support the main point of that paragraph. Additionally, try to provide more specific examples for each point made. For instance, giving a specific statistic about the success of rehabilitation programs could strengthen your argument.

structure

Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

examples

You successfully provided relevant examples to support your main points, such as the citation of security measures in banks and the street crime in Vietnam.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

374 words

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Some people believe more actions can be takes to prevent crime, whole others think that little can be done. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Employers should give their staff at least a 4-week holiday a year to make employees better at their jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The massive movement of people from agricultural areas to cities in search of employment can lead to serious problems in both places. What are the problems, and how can these be solved?

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?