Too much emphasis to given for education of the young. More government money should be spent to free time activity of young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#emphasis #education #government #money #time #activity #people

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Nowadays, community spend their main budget to create educational and physical action for the young generation. I agree that more authority money should be spent on the free age exercise of young

people

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Firstly

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, spending money on young

people

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is the best investment. Almost in all

people

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, schools are free and schools have more free age action for pupils.

For instance

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, if school children have extra era, they could go to additional free courses or any kind of sports.

As a result

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, these

action

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actions

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help to decrease any health problems and educational issues. Ever, in more European

people

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, universities are

also

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free for all

such

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as Germany, France, Italy,..etc.

Additionally

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, too much investigation into education can bring more economic and political value to the ministry.

For example

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, if the law gives more emphasis to education, scientists will create more useful things and

the

Correct article usage

apply

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politics can sell them all over the world.

Secondly

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, it takes more budget. The regime takes money from taxes to spending for any kind of sphere. In

this

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case, to spend more budget on the future of education, the country needs to increase taxes. But it will be less problem for not developed community.

Additionally

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, Children

also

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need more free

hour

Fix the agreement mistake

hours

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to play with their piers. In conclusion, I firmly believe that governments should allocate their primary resources to the young generation.

This

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investment not only contributes significantly to the development of individuals but

also

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fosters economic and political progress.

However

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, it is imperative to strike a balance ensuring that young

people

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are granted sufficient free

moment

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moments

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to enjoy their childhood, thereby fostering a holistic development approach.

Wed Jun 05 2024

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task achievement

Your essay addresses the prompt and provides arguments for both sides. However, some ideas are not fully developed or are slightly unclear. Ensure to explain your points more thoroughly.

coherence cohesion

There are a few issues with the logical structure and flow of the essay. Try to organize your points better and ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea.

task achievement

Some of the examples provided are relevant but lacking in detail. Stronger, more specific examples would help to better illustrate your points.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in delivering a coherent message.

task achievement

You present a balanced view by discussing both the investment in education and the need for free time activities for young people.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

270 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

overemphasis
burnout
well-being
mental health
social inclusion
non-academic skills
recreational facilities
antisocial behaviors
extracurricular activities
diverse interests
personal growth
real-world skills
intellectual society
undue stress
teamwork
societal development

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Too much emphasis to given for education of the young. More government money should be spent to free time activity of young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people try to achieve success through their career or education. What can success mean to different people? What is your view of success?

In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Many people nowadays don't feel safe either when they are at home or go out. What are the reasons?What can we do to solve this problem???

Students in university should be specialized in one subject rather than to develop a wider range of knowledge in many different subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

most employers do job interview before offering a position to a person. do you think this is the best way to do it, or are there better alternatives? what is the best method of choosing employees in your opinion?