Too much emphasis to given for education of the young. More government money should be spent to free time activity of young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#emphasis #education #government #money #time #activity #people

Nowadays, community spend their main budget to create educational and physical action for the young generation. I agree that more authority money should be spent on the free age exercise of young

people

Firstly

, spending money on young

people

is the best investment. Almost in all

people

, schools are free and schools have more free age action for pupils.

For instance

, if school children have extra era, they could go to additional free courses or any kind of sports.

As a result

, these

action

Change the determiner

actions

show examples

help to decrease any health problems and educational issues. Ever, in more European

people

, universities are

also

free for all

such

as Germany, France, Italy,..etc.

Additionally

, too much investigation into education can bring more economic and political value to the ministry.

For example

, if the law gives more emphasis to education, scientists will create more useful things and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

politics can sell them all over the world.

Secondly

, it takes more budget. The regime takes money from taxes to spending for any kind of sphere. In

this

case, to spend more budget on the future of education, the country needs to increase taxes. But it will be less problem for not developed community.

Additionally

, Children

also

need more free

hour

Fix the agreement mistake

hours

show examples

to play with their piers. In conclusion, I firmly believe that governments should allocate their primary resources to the young generation.

This

investment not only contributes significantly to the development of individuals but

also

fosters economic and political progress.

However

, it is imperative to strike a balance ensuring that young

people

are granted sufficient free

moment

Fix the agreement mistake

moments

show examples

to enjoy their childhood, thereby fostering a holistic development approach.

Wed Jun 05 2024

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task achievement

Your essay addresses the prompt and provides arguments for both sides. However, some ideas are not fully developed or are slightly unclear. Ensure to explain your points more thoroughly.

coherence cohesion

There are a few issues with the logical structure and flow of the essay. Try to organize your points better and ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea.

task achievement

Some of the examples provided are relevant but lacking in detail. Stronger, more specific examples would help to better illustrate your points.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in delivering a coherent message.

task achievement

You present a balanced view by discussing both the investment in education and the need for free time activities for young people.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

270 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

overemphasis
burnout
well-being
mental health
social inclusion
non-academic skills
recreational facilities
antisocial behaviors
extracurricular activities
diverse interests
personal growth
real-world skills
intellectual society
undue stress
teamwork
societal development

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Too much emphasis to given for education of the young. More government money should be spent to free time activity of young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impacts of aging population.

Some people believe that professionals such as doctors and engineers should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Technology is becoming progressively universal. In the fullness of time, classroom teachers will be totally substituted for technology. Do you agree or disagree?

Rich Countries often give money to poorer countries but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than Financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that governments should invest mainly in making public transportation faster while other think there are more important priorities (cost, the environment). Discuss both views and give your own opinion.