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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that the amount of noise people may have to be controlled strictly. Others, however, say that people are free to make as much noise as they wish. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #amount #noise
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Voice pollution is
recongized
Correct your spelling
recognized
 as the indispensable problem that
individuals
Use synonyms
 have to encounter
with in
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within
show examples
theri
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their
 daily lives. People have different views concerning
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
whether to control the amount of
noise
Use synonyms
 made by
human
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humans
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 rigorously. From my perspective, I think the
sound
Fix the agreement mistake
sounds
show examples
 made by citizens are supposed to be supervised strictly. On the one hand, some people insist that they should be permitted to make
sound
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sounds
show examples
 as loud as they want because they consider it to be
benificial
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beneficial
 to their mental health. Many
individuals
Use synonyms
 tend to transfer their spirit depression to body behaviours including making
noise
Use synonyms
 and it is verified by doctors as an efficient method.
For example
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, after experiencing frustrations in
work
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,
relationship
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relationships
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 and study, dwellers are prone to shout their feelings out of windows, so that they may get over those down moods quicker than keeping them in mind.
Therefore
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, it may impose
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
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 effect
to
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on
show examples
Use synonyms
individuals
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individuals'
individual's
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 mental situations.
On the other hand
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, I agree with the point that
those
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
noise
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have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 to be limited by legislation because it
yield
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yields
show examples
 more negative influences on society.
First,
Linking Words
it disturbs citizens'
normally
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normal
show examples
 lives
severly
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severely
 which may interfere
their
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with their
show examples
work
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effciency
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efficiency
. To be specific, dwellers
are
Verb problem
find it
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 hard to fall
sleep
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asleep
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with
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while
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 living around people who
likes
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like
show examples
 to hold noisy
party
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parties
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 at night. Based on that,
individuals
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 have limited rest time to refresh
them
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
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up
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apply
show examples
, which results in lower productivity in the next
work
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 day.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it may enhance the standard of chaos of the whole society.
For example
Linking Words
, without any limitation in
noise
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 control, drivers are highly
possible
Correct word choice
likely
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 to whistle their cars to complain
the
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about the
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 traffic situation rather than
solving
Wrong verb form
solve
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 it.
Meawhile
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Meanwhile
, some construction
compaines
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companies
 which are
fobiddent
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forbidden
 to
work
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 at night
due to
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their
Change the word
the
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noise
Use synonyms
 are allowed to
built
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build
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 their architecture
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all day time. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 it may have some advantages on
individuals
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' pressure relieving,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
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it should be supervised under a controlled range,
avioding distrubing
Correct your spelling
avoiding disturbing
 dwellers' normal lives and aggravating social chaos.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that all sentences in the paragraph support that main idea. This will improve logical structure.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to support your points. This will make your argument more convincing and will help achieve complete response and relevant specific examples criteria.
task achievement
Work on grammatical accuracy and spelling to boost clarity and comprehension. This includes common typos like 'their' instead of 'theri' and 'beneficial' instead of 'benificial.'
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing your argument effectively.
task achievement
You addressed both sides of the argument, showcasing a balanced perspective.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • noise pollution
  • mental and physical well-being
  • hearing loss
  • sleep disturbances
  • stress levels
  • freedom of expression
  • cultural expression
  • social interactions
  • economic benefits
  • property values
  • tourism and hospitality
  • entertainment and construction industries
  • thoughtful noise regulations
  • public health
  • economic and cultural considerations
  • zone-based noise control
  • flexibility
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