Some people believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn, and should not have to pay tax to the state. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Many are of the opinion that citizens should maintain all their income without imposing
taxation
to
the government Change preposition
on
due to
the difficulties for necessity
Replace the word
necessary
purchase
, Fix the agreement mistake
purchases
However
, I am largely in disagreement with this
perspective since gaining proper
amount of Add an article
the proper
tax
depending on personal finances
encourages society to strike a balance in economic differences.
Advocates argue that authorities do not mandate the public to pay taxes, but individuals should save all the income they make, considering the harsh economic state in the modern era. With the economic unstability
Correct your spelling
instability
such
as inflation, the rising cost of living, and soaring apartment prices, numerous citizens are struggling with their deficient finances
spent on essential items such
as foods
, house renting fees, and utility fees. Fix the agreement mistake
food
Moreover
, taxation
will make them more
grapple with financial difficulties and feel burdensome. Correct quantifier usage
apply
Therefore
, saving individual salaries and wages for their essentials can be a more effective way to alleviate personal financial burdens.
Despite the aforementioned points, critics insist that must of taxation
is required for the balance between the marginalized communities and the upper classes since paying tax
to the nations can address Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
the
economic inequality Correct article usage
apply
This
financial unbalance mostly arises from the social background that the more socially high-positioned people such
as doctors, lawyers, and technicians make a significant amount of money, the less low class
Add a hyphen
low-class
labors
Change the spelling
labours
such
as manual labors
, factory workers, and cleaners earn income. Change the spelling
labours
Consequently
, gaining tax
depending on individual finances
can make a considerable contribution to improving such
the
Correct article usage
apply
socioeconomical
imbalance. The received Correct your spelling
socioeconomic
tax
can be allocated towards the
Correct article usage
apply
disadvantage’s
groups Change noun form
disadvantage
such
as the homeless and lower incomers by offering shelters, subsidy
, and Fix the agreement mistake
subsidies
foods
.
Fix the agreement mistake
food
Hence
, this
concerted effort will perpetuate a virtuous cycle on
society, removing economic disparity.
In conclusion, Change preposition
in
while
is undeniably true that taxation
can be financial
Correct article usage
a financial
burdens
for workers who make Fix the agreement mistake
burden
less
salaries Correct word choice
lower
due to
lack
of Correct article usage
a lack
finances
for basic needs. However
, I firmly believe that imposing tax
on governments can vary depending on the state of individual economic states and such
collected taxes can be directed towards the poor citizens, leading to financial equality.Submitted by uzookim on
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task achievement
The essay addresses the critical points of the prompt, arguing for the necessity of taxation and its role in reducing economic inequality. However, the response could benefit from more specific examples and further elaboration on key points. Try to include more detailed examples or case studies to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, the transitions between paragraphs can be smoother. Using more cohesive devices and ensuring that each paragraph flows naturally into the next will improve coherence and cohesion.
accuracy
There are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that occasionally obscure the meaning. Review and refine sentence structures for clarity and correctness. For instance, "unbalance" should be "imbalance," and "disadvantage’s groups" should be "disadvantaged groups."
task achievement
The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion and provides a clear thesis statement.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates the thesis statement, providing closure to the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.