Some people believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn, and should not have to pay tax to the state. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #money #tax

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Many are of the opinion that citizens should maintain all their income without imposing

taxation

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the government

due to

Linking Words

the difficulties for

necessity

Replace the word

necessary

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purchase

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purchases

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However

Linking Words

, I am largely in disagreement with

this

Linking Words

perspective since gaining

proper

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the proper

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amount of

tax

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depending on personal

finances

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encourages society to strike a balance in economic differences. Advocates argue that authorities do not mandate the public to pay taxes, but individuals should save all the income they make, considering the harsh economic state in the modern era. With the economic

unstability

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instability

such

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as inflation, the rising cost of living, and soaring apartment prices, numerous citizens are struggling with their deficient

finances

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spent on essential items

such

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foods

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food

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, house renting fees, and utility fees.

Moreover

Linking Words

taxation

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will make them

Correct quantifier usage

apply

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grapple with financial difficulties and feel burdensome.

Therefore

Linking Words

, saving individual salaries and wages for their essentials can be a more effective way to alleviate personal financial burdens. Despite the aforementioned points, critics insist that must of

taxation

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is required for the balance between the marginalized communities and the upper classes since paying

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tax

Fix the agreement mistake

taxes

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to the nations can address

the

Correct article usage

apply

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economic inequality

This

Linking Words

financial unbalance mostly arises from the social background that the more socially high-positioned people

such

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as doctors, lawyers, and technicians make a significant amount of money, the less

low class

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low-class

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labors

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labours

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such

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as manual

labors

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labours

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, factory workers, and cleaners earn income.

Consequently

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, gaining

tax

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depending on individual

finances

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can make a considerable contribution to improving

such

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the

Correct article usage

apply

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socioeconomical

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socioeconomic

imbalance. The received

tax

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can be allocated towards

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

disadvantage’s

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disadvantage

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groups

such

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as the homeless and lower incomers by offering shelters,

subsidy

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subsidies

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, and

foods

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food

show examples

Hence

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

concerted effort will perpetuate a virtuous cycle

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society, removing economic disparity. In conclusion,

while

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is undeniably true that

taxation

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can be

financial

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a financial

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burdens

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burden

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for workers who make

less

Correct word choice

lower

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salaries

due to

Linking Words

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

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finances

Use synonyms

for basic needs.

However

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, I firmly believe that imposing

tax

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on governments can vary depending on the state of individual economic states and

such

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collected taxes can be directed towards the poor citizens, leading to financial equality.

Submitted by uzookim on Wed Jun 05 2024

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task achievement

The essay addresses the critical points of the prompt, arguing for the necessity of taxation and its role in reducing economic inequality. However, the response could benefit from more specific examples and further elaboration on key points. Try to include more detailed examples or case studies to strengthen your arguments.

coherence cohesion

The essay is logically structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, the transitions between paragraphs can be smoother. Using more cohesive devices and ensuring that each paragraph flows naturally into the next will improve coherence and cohesion.

accuracy

There are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that occasionally obscure the meaning. Review and refine sentence structures for clarity and correctness. For instance, "unbalance" should be "imbalance," and "disadvantage’s groups" should be "disadvantaged groups."

task achievement

The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion and provides a clear thesis statement.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates the thesis statement, providing closure to the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

344 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

contribute
welfare
public services
progressive taxation
distribution of wealth
civic duty
social cohesion
tax evasion
economic disparities
social unrest
individual rights
societal responsibilities

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Some people believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn, and should not have to pay tax to the state. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Nowadays, there is a trend that reports of media focus on problems and emergencies rather than positive development. Some people think it is harmful ti individuals and to society. To what extend do you agree or disagree

As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people feel tha manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging.Discuss bothe views and give your opinions. 5.0

In some places, old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is much more convenient to watch a movie on television or computer than buy a ticket and go to the cinema. In the nearest future of the popularity of cinemas will drastically decline. Do you agree or disagree?