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Band 3.5

Encouraging people to use public transport is the best way to solve traffic problems in cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #transport #traffic #cities
Traffic
congestion
 has become a major social problem not only in developed cities but
also
 in
third world
Add a hyphen
third-world
show examples
 countries, especially in urban areas. It has become a major issue for many nations. Though some people's opinions differ,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
I think that encouraging people to
use
 public
transport
 is an effective solution. First
of
Correct pronoun usage
of all
show examples
, the
use
 of public transportation will help reduce the number of
cars
 on the roads in cities thereby
reduce
Wrong verb form
reducing
show examples
traffic
congestion
 and pollution.
Moreover
,
lesser
Correct word choice
fewer
show examples
cars
 on the road
mean
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
show examples
 less aggressive behaviour avoided with road rage.
For instance
, better access to the
transport
 system will encourage individuals to travel by public
transport
 rather than taking their
cars
,
thus
 saving time and money to travel to their destination. Saving time being,
time
Add an article
the time
show examples
 needed to travel from one place to another without having to get stuck in
traffic
 and money
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
, fuel and parking costs, etc. A good infrastructure system will mean that
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 will foster the culture of taking public
transport
such
 as buses, trains, trains
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
boats, etc.
For instance
, in the UK,
cars
 are not allowed in some parts during peak hours to reduce
congestion
,
therfore
Correct your spelling
therefore
, people are encouraged to
use
 public
transport
 thereby reducing the number of
cars
 on the road.
To conclude
,
use
Correct article usage
the use
show examples
 of
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
transport
 system is an effective solution to
traffic
congestion
 as it reduces the number of
cars
 on the roads in cities.
Submitted by sejal.h on

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coherence cohesion
Enhance logical structure by ensuring that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Avoid abrupt transitions and make sure each point logically follows from the previous one.
task achievement
Strengthen your main points with more relevant and specific examples. Currently, the examples provided are somewhat general and could be more detailed to support your arguments effectively.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to proofread your essay for minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing to improve readability and professionalism.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which help frame your argument.
task achievement
The main idea is clearly stated and consistently supported throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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