IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Encouraging people to use public transport is the best way to solve traffic problems in cities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #transport #traffic #cities
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Traffic
Use synonyms
congestion
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 has become a major social problem not only in developed cities but
also
Linking Words
 in
third world
Add a hyphen
third-world
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 countries, especially in urban areas. It has become a major issue for many nations. Though some people's opinions differ,
but
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apply
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I think that encouraging people to
use
Use synonyms
 public
transport
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 is an effective solution. First
of
Correct pronoun usage
of all
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, the
use
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 of public transportation will help reduce the number of
cars
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 on the roads in cities thereby
reduce
Wrong verb form
reducing
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traffic
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congestion
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 and pollution.
Moreover
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,
lesser
Correct word choice
fewer
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cars
Use synonyms
 on the road
mean
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
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 less aggressive behaviour avoided with road rage.
For instance
Linking Words
, better access to the
transport
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 system will encourage individuals to travel by public
transport
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 rather than taking their
cars
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,
thus
Linking Words
 saving time and money to travel to their destination. Saving time being,
time
Add an article
the time
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 needed to travel from one place to another without having to get stuck in
traffic
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 and money
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
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, fuel and parking costs, etc. A good infrastructure system will mean that
public
Correct article usage
the public
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 will foster the culture of taking public
transport
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such
Linking Words
 as buses, trains, trains
and
Correct word choice
apply
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boats, etc.
For instance
Linking Words
, in the UK,
cars
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 are not allowed in some parts during peak hours to reduce
congestion
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,
therfore
Correct your spelling
therefore
, people are encouraged to
use
Use synonyms
 public
transport
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 thereby reducing the number of
cars
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 on the road.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
use
Correct article usage
the use
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 of
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
transport
Use synonyms
 system is an effective solution to
traffic
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congestion
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 as it reduces the number of
cars
Use synonyms
 on the roads in cities.
Submitted by sejal.h on

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coherence cohesion
Enhance logical structure by ensuring that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Avoid abrupt transitions and make sure each point logically follows from the previous one.
task achievement
Strengthen your main points with more relevant and specific examples. Currently, the examples provided are somewhat general and could be more detailed to support your arguments effectively.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to proofread your essay for minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing to improve readability and professionalism.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which help frame your argument.
task achievement
The main idea is clearly stated and consistently supported throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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