Write about the following topic: Many people think that mobile phones should be banned in public places such as libraries, shops and public transport. Do you agree or disagree?

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The debate over whether mobile
phones
should be banned in public
places
such
as libraries, shops, and public transport is a contentious one.
While
there are valid arguments on both sides, I disagree with the notion of an outright
ban
.
Instead
, I believe that more nuanced solutions should be implemented to address the concerns associated with mobile
phone
use
in public spaces. First and foremost, mobile
phones
have become an integral part of modern life, serving not only as communication devices but
also
as tools for accessing information, navigation, and entertainment. Banning them outright in public
places
could create significant inconvenience for many people.
For example
, in libraries, students and researchers often rely on their
phones
to access digital resources, take notes, or collaborate with peers.
Similarly
, in shops, mobile
phones
can be used to compare prices, read reviews, and access discount codes, enhancing the shopping experience.
Additionally
, an outright
ban
may be impractical and difficult to enforce. Public transport systems,
for instance
, are vast and varied, making it challenging to monitor and control
phone
usage effectively.
Instead
of a
ban
, public
places
could implement policies that promote considerate
phone
use
. Libraries could designate specific areas for
phone
use
to minimize disruption,
while
shops and public transport could encourage the
use
of silent or vibrate modes. Education and awareness campaigns could
further
address the issue of mobile
phone
etiquette by educating the public about the importance of considerate
phone
use
,
such
as speaking softly and avoiding loud ringtones. In conclusion,
while
the concerns surrounding mobile
phone
use
in public
places
are valid, an outright
ban
is neither practical nor necessary.
Instead
, a combination of designated areas, enforcement of considerate
use
policies, and public education can effectively address the issues
while
still allowing people to enjoy the benefits of their mobile devices.
Submitted by catalinamaria.n on

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task achievement
While your response addresses the question effectively, including more specific examples or data could strengthen your arguments further.
coherence cohesion
The essay is mostly well-organized, but ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence to guide the reader.
introduction conclusion present
You've introduced and concluded the essay succinctly, keeping it focused on the topic.
task achievement
Your arguments are clear and support your view effectively, which demonstrates a complete response to the task.
coherence cohesion
The essay flows well, showing good use of cohesive devices to connect ideas and paragraphs.
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