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Band 6.5

The pie charts below show the main reasons why students chose to study at a particular UK University in 1987 and 2007.

The pie charts below show the main reasons why students chose to study at a particular UK University in 1987 and 2007.
#show #students #study #uk #university
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The charts illustrate how many
school
Use synonyms
 leavers chose to
study
Use synonyms
 at a certain university in the UK between 1987 and 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
, there was an increase in the proportion of young people choosing to
study
Use synonyms
 at
this
Linking Words
school
Use synonyms
 because it provided suitable courses and it was close to their home,
while
Linking Words
 the figures for those opting for
this
Linking Words
school
Use synonyms
 owing to its quality of resources and teaching, and its physical and social activities declined.
In addition
Linking Words
, the majority of students chose to
study
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 in the examined
school
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 because of its degree courses in both years. The percentage of students saying that they chose to
study
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 in the surveyed
school
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 because of its courses started at 35%, after which it saw a slight increase to 37%. Meanwhile, the figure for those whose house was close to their
school
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 grew significantly from 10% to 21%. 21% of the students placed more emphasis on the quality of the resources of the
school
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 in 1987, with a subsequent decline to 17% in 2007. In the meanwhile, the figures for undergraduates whose reason for enrollment was related to the quality of teaching and
extra curricular
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extracurricular
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 activities halved to 8% and 9% respectively.
Submitted by anhnguyen270407 on

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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words school, study with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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