1)Your child is going on a three day school trip to another country. The head teacher wants to find parents to go with the group and you would like to go. Write a letter to the head teacher. In your letter: ● Say why you would like to go on the trip ● Suggest what you could do to help during the trip ● Ask other questions about the trip

#child #three #school #trip #country #head #teacher #parents #group #questions

Dear Mr. Smith,

This

is Dhara

patel

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Patel

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, mother of Arya

patel

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Patel

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. I am writing

this

letter with regards to the upcoming

three day

Add a hyphen

three-day

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school trip to

United

Correct article usage

the United

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kingdom

Capitalize word

Kingdom

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and I would like to sign up for the same. I would like to go on

this

trip because I have a conference on cancer research in London city.

Also

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had

Wrong verb form

have

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lived in the United

kingdom

Capitalize word

Kingdom

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for 5 years, so I am familiar with

this

place and

this

could be beneficial to

this

tour. As I have lived in

this

country for many years I know various tourist attractions, so I can act as a guide to the school children.

Also

, I have friends who have motels over there. They can definitely provide

with

Change preposition

apply

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free accommodation and hygienic food for the kids.

Apart from

this

me being a mother, can take care of the children. I would like to know the departure dates of

this

trip. I would

also

like to know if I have to pay any extra charges for

this

tour. I am looking forward to your response, Yours sincerely Dhara

patel

Change the capitalization

Patel

show examples

Submitted by niravfb1987 on Mon Apr 08 2024

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Task Achievement

Great job on presenting your reasons for wanting to accompany the trip in a clear and detailed manner. To enhance your task achievement further, consider elaborating on how your presence on the trip will specifically benefit the children's educational experience or safety.

Coherence and Cohesion

You've done a remarkable job organizing your ideas in a logical manner and maintaining coherence throughout the letter. To elevate your coherence and cohesion score, try using a wider range of linking words to seamlessly connect your ideas.

Task Achievement

You've effectively introduced your letter, outlined your reasons for wanting to go on the trip, suggested how you could help, and asked pertinent questions, fulfilling all parts of the prompt exceptionally well.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your letter flows smoothly from one point to the next and each paragraph focuses on a single idea, which makes your writing easy to follow.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

183 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

enthusiastic
valuable experience
expertise
educational objectives
supervision
ensure safety
bonding
workshops
logistics
coordinates
travel arrangements
clear communication
support
responsibilities
manage schedules

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The best way to reduce poverty in developing countries is by giving up to six years of free education, so that they can at least read, write, and use numbers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Because of traffic and housing problems in the cities, the government encourages business to move to the rural area. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what are the possible solutions?

Nowadays, more people move away from their friends and families for work. Do advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In the past, people lived in one place for a long time , but now they can live in many different places what are the reasons ? Is this positive or negative development ?