1)Your child is going on a three day school trip to another country. The head teacher wants to find parents to go with the group and you would like to go. Write a letter to the head teacher. In your letter: ● Say why you would like to go on the trip ● Suggest what you could do to help during the trip ● Ask other questions about the trip

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Dear Mr. Smith,
This
Linking Words
is Dhara
patel
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Patel
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, mother of Arya
patel
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Patel
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. I am writing
this
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letter with regards to the upcoming
three day
Add a hyphen
three-day
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school trip to
United
Correct article usage
the United
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kingdom
Capitalize word
Kingdom
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and I would like to sign up for the same. I would like to go on
this
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trip because I have a conference on cancer research in London city.
Also
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Add a comma
,
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I
had
Wrong verb form
have
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lived in the United
kingdom
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Kingdom
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for 5 years, so I am familiar with
this
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place and
this
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could be beneficial to
this
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tour. As I have lived in
this
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country for many years I know various tourist attractions, so I can act as a guide to the school children.
Also
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, I have friends who have motels over there. They can definitely provide
with
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apply
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free accommodation and hygienic food for the kids.
Apart from
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this
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me being a mother, can take care of the children. I would like to know the departure dates of
this
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trip. I would
also
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like to know if I have to pay any extra charges for
this
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tour. I am looking forward to your response, Yours sincerely Dhara
patel
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Patel
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.
Submitted by niravfb1987 on

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Task Achievement
Great job on presenting your reasons for wanting to accompany the trip in a clear and detailed manner. To enhance your task achievement further, consider elaborating on how your presence on the trip will specifically benefit the children's educational experience or safety.
Coherence and Cohesion
You've done a remarkable job organizing your ideas in a logical manner and maintaining coherence throughout the letter. To elevate your coherence and cohesion score, try using a wider range of linking words to seamlessly connect your ideas.
Task Achievement
You've effectively introduced your letter, outlined your reasons for wanting to go on the trip, suggested how you could help, and asked pertinent questions, fulfilling all parts of the prompt exceptionally well.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your letter flows smoothly from one point to the next and each paragraph focuses on a single idea, which makes your writing easy to follow.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • enthusiastic
  • valuable experience
  • expertise
  • educational objectives
  • supervision
  • ensure safety
  • bonding
  • workshops
  • logistics
  • coordinates
  • travel arrangements
  • clear communication
  • support
  • responsibilities
  • manage schedules
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