1)Your child is going on a three day school trip to another country. The head teacher wants to find parents to go with the group and you would like to go. Write a letter to the head teacher. In your letter: ● Say why you would like to go on the trip ● Suggest what you could do to help during the trip ● Ask other questions about the trip
Dear Mr. Smith,
I
This
is Dhara patel
, mother of Arya Change the capitalization
Patel
patel
. I am writing Change the capitalization
Patel
this
letter with regards to the upcoming three day
school trip to Add a hyphen
three-day
United
Correct article usage
the United
kingdom
and I would like to sign up for the same.
I would like to go on Capitalize word
Kingdom
this
trip because I have a conference on cancer research in London city. Also
Add a comma
,
had
lived in the United Wrong verb form
have
kingdom
for 5 years, so I am familiar with Capitalize word
Kingdom
this
place and this
could be beneficial to this
tour.
As I have lived in this
country for many years I know various tourist attractions, so I can act as a guide to the school children. Also
, I have friends who have motels over there. They can definitely provide with
free accommodation and hygienic food for the kids. Change preposition
apply
Apart from
this
me being a mother, can take care of the children.
I would like to know the departure dates of this
trip. I would also
like to know if I have to pay any extra charges for this
tour.
I am looking forward to your response,
Yours sincerely
Dhara patel
.Change the capitalization
Patel
Submitted by niravfb1987 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Achievement
Great job on presenting your reasons for wanting to accompany the trip in a clear and detailed manner. To enhance your task achievement further, consider elaborating on how your presence on the trip will specifically benefit the children's educational experience or safety.
Coherence and Cohesion
You've done a remarkable job organizing your ideas in a logical manner and maintaining coherence throughout the letter. To elevate your coherence and cohesion score, try using a wider range of linking words to seamlessly connect your ideas.
Task Achievement
You've effectively introduced your letter, outlined your reasons for wanting to go on the trip, suggested how you could help, and asked pertinent questions, fulfilling all parts of the prompt exceptionally well.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your letter flows smoothly from one point to the next and each paragraph focuses on a single idea, which makes your writing easy to follow.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite