It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages

#people #risks #lives

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During survival, taking

risks

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plays a principal role for people, both in their careers and private lives. I believe

this

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will have more pros than cons as I will explain below. The main benefits of taking

risks

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are potential growth and gaining experience.

Firstly

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, when individuals push themselves out of their comfort zones, they cultivate new skills or at least gain more experience in their field.

Secondly

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, taking

risks

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may be an essential step that can change one's entire professional life for the better.

For instance

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, an entrepreneur who takes a risk by starting their own business may develop invaluable skills in leadership, communication, and decision-making.

Additionally

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, someone who takes a risk by

traveling

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travelling

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to a new and unfamiliar place may develop a broader perspective and cultural understanding. Despite these advantages, taking

risks

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can result in financial decline in people's professional careers.

For example

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, it is very easy for a businessman to go bankrupt by taking

risks

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Furthermore

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, taking

risks

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also

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carries significant disadvantages in one's personal life.

For instance

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, someone who quits their job to pursue their passion may face economic hardship and uncertainty. In conclusion, I can say with confidence that taking

risks

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can be both beneficial and detrimental.

However

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, I firmly believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. By taking calculated

risks

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at the right times, individuals can gain confidence and achieve success in their private and professional lives.

Submitted by oyatilloalisherov159 on Wed Jun 05 2024

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task achievement

To further enhance your essay, consider providing more balanced examples to illustrate both the pros and cons of taking risks in both professional and personal contexts. This will make your argument more comprehensive and nuanced.

coherence cohesion

Work on making your transitions between paragraphs and ideas smoother. This will help in maintaining a consistent flow throughout your essay.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear and well-structured introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame your argument.

task achievement

You have successfully addressed the topic and provided a coherent argument that supports your opinion on the advantages of taking risks.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

232 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Opportunities
Growth
Innovation
Challenges
Self-discovery
Resilience
Uncertainty
Consequences
Calculated risks
Stagnation
Regret
Comfort zone
Entrepreneurship
Adventurous spirit
Thriving
Failure
Mitigate
Reap the rewards

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It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interest and whether they are marries od single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Other disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In their advertising business nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative devlopment? write at least 250 words.

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both views and give your opinion.