IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that it is wrong for professional athletes to compete in the Olympics because their strong financial backing and training give them an unfair advantage over the other athletes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #athletes #olympics #advantage
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Some would argue that it is unfair for a high-skilled sportsman to struggle in the Olympic games because their high salary and preparation make their participation dishonest compared with the other competitors.
However
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, in
this
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 essay, I would disagree with
this
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 opinion because
this
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 competition spends among professionals, their pieces of training and money are on the same level. But the Pharmaceuticals and political issues make a difference. So, as we know The Olympic Games came to us from Ancient Greece to find the best athletes
according to
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 chosen disciplines.
Furthermore
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, there are always some wrong ways to ensure better conditions. One of them is using forbidden drugs.
For example
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, during the Olympics in 2006, the Kazakhstan Boxing team was penalized for using dope. Despite the sended protest three Gold medals were given to other People.
However
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, if the commission wouldn't hold them, I think these actions would provide a benefit.
On the other hand
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, you can always influence people who make decisions
according to
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 your political ambitions.
For instance
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, the best boxer in the World, Floyd "The Money" Mayweather was stolen during his fight in South Korea. It was final, the reward was a gold medal. His skills were higher than his opponent's. Doubtless, he won, unfortunately, Policy has changed the result and they made him lose.
This
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 example shows the dark side of the Sport. I believe that
this
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 method is unacceptable, but it is very efficient to get results. In conclusion, terms of training and regardings are important, but
shownexamples
Correct your spelling
shown examples
show examples
 confirm that politicians and dopes change
true
Change preposition
from true
show examples
 to false.
Submitted by interclass1982 on

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task response
Your response successfully addresses the topic, and you overall provide a clear opinion. However, strive to make your argument more cohesive and logical by organizing your supporting points better and ensuring they directly address the central argument of whether professional athletes should compete in the Olympics.
coherence cohesion
Though you follow a logical structure, the essay could benefit from smoother transitions between points to enhance overall coherence. Also, some sentences need to be revised for clarity.
coherence cohesion
You present a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument effectively.
task response
You provide relevant examples to support your points; this adds depth to your argument.
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