IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The tendency of news reports in the media to focus more on problems and emergencies rather than on positive developments is harmful to the individuals and the society as a whole. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It's often argued whether reports about
bad
Add an article
the bad

The noun phrase bad side seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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 side of a country rather than its advancements can negatively damage the public and individuals. I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 view. I feel that it's essential to prevail
problems
Change preposition
over problems

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 by using the media. Because, by doing
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, evoking residents in a country is unpreventable. When unrest is unavoidable the authority is easily pursuaded to get hold of solutions to the cause of it.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the media should report when the costs of stable food rise so the
government
Add a verb
government is
government was

Your sentence appears to be missing a verb.

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 aware of the scale of its impacts.
In addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 to that sometimes the state isn't aware the hassle
exsists
Correct your spelling
exists

If you don’t want exsists to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

unless reporters release information about it.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there are insurmountable problems which are hidden. They will not be solved unless it is published their stories. Personally, I remember when I was in Sudan, the state repeatedly tried to force news outlets not
publish
Fix the infinitive
to publish

It seems that the use of particle to may be incorrect here.

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 insecure and not working ideas.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 action caused these ideas
came
Change the verb form
to come

Came doesn’t seem to work here.

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 to stages
Correct pronoun usage
that was

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were

It seems that the verb was does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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ardous
Correct your spelling
arduous

If you don’t want ardous to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

to be replaced
into
Change preposition
with

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 new ones.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, responses to these issues can be achieved when they are made
resurface
Fix the infinitive
to resurface

It seems that the use of particle to may be incorrect here.

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 early. In summary, bad news can help the public and individuals positively. The outcry of the community helps those in charge
swiflty
Correct your spelling
swiftly

If you don’t want swiflty to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

look for solutions. Releasing data
and
Correct word choice
apply

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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statistics and so on related to hassles collectively
motivate
Correct subject-verb agreement
motivates

It seems that the verb motivate does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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 finding solutions.

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task achievement
Strengthen your introduction by clearly stating your main points that you will elaborate on in your essay.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and follows a logical progression of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Refine your conclusion by summarizing your main points and clearly restating your overall position on the topic.
task achievement
Provide more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments, ensuring that they clearly illustrate your points.
task achievement
Work on sentence structure and grammar to enhance clarity and readability of your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You have effectively included examples to support your arguments, making your essay more persuasive.
task achievement
Your main ideas are clearly presented and relevant to the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • news reports
  • media focus
  • negative news
  • positive developments
  • stress and anxiety
  • skewed perception of reality
  • world view
  • desensitization
  • pessimistic outlook
  • general public
  • mental well-being
  • proactive problem-solving
  • holistic view
  • informed decision-making
What to do next:
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