In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

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In the current era, there is a tight-knit relationship between all

people

Use synonyms

. Whether the presence of a growing population of the elderly in societies is a positive development is a matter of debate. As far as I am concerned, the presence of the elderly in countries can bring about numerous benefits. On the one hand, a panel of

people

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believe that the overpopulation of the elderly results in some drawbacks for the

government

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That is

Linking Words

to say, the

government

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has to allocate a considerable budget for creating various facilities for

such

Linking Words

throngs.

For example

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

elderly centres, medical facilities, and specialists have to be supplied for these

people

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. To clarify,

this

Linking Words

older

generation

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needs caring, so the

government

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has to dedicate young

force

Fix the agreement mistake

forces

show examples

such

Linking Words

as nurses to these

people

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without payment.

Hence

Linking Words

, a fresh and new

generation

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has to be devoted to looking after the elderly rather than utilizing their novel ideas in order to address upcoming social issues.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, some contend that

this

Linking Words

old

generation

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can potentially benefit society in different ways. To start with, a society can take

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

advantage of the elderly’s experience and wisdom. To simplify,

this

Linking Words

generation

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had encountered various situations, so they had gained wisdom about how to meet different requirements. Take the

war

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between Iran and Iraq as an example.

New

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The new

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generation

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does not have the foggiest idea of how to survive

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war

Add an article

the war

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while

Linking Words

exposure to

war

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has informed our grandparents about

such

Linking Words

a situation.

Therefore

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, they can be a perfect mentor when it comes to

war

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Furthermore

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, elderlies are more likely to have community engagement.

This

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means

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apply

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they are more delighted to do voluntary jobs

due to

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their retirements and loads of free time.

For instance

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, they are absolutely enthusiastic to help in lining up the books on library

shelfs

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shelves

shelf

. Or voluntarily give other old

people

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with serious illnesses a free lift to the hospital.

Consequently

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, if the

government

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ask for their help, it will be benefited from numerous

Change preposition

apply

show examples

voluntary

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

. The bottom line,

although

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the older

generation

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may require more budget and force in order to be looked after, the advantages of their presence in society clearly outweigh the downsides.

Therefore

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, I am of the opinion that old population are highly essential in today’s nations.

aradzandieh.dvmWed Jun 05 2024

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coherence cohesion

Make sure that every paragraph stays focused on one main idea and fully develops it. Occasionally, the essay shifts slightly off-topic before returning to the main point.

task achievement

While your ideas are generally clear and relevant, adding even more specific examples and evidences can strengthen your argument further.

coherence cohesion

The transition between the introduction and the body paragraphs can be slightly improved by more clearly outlining the structure of the essay in the introduction.

task achievement

Your essay effectively addresses the topic and provides a clear position on the issue.

task achievement

You have provided appropriate examples to illustrate your points, which makes your argument more convincing.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a logical flow that guides the reader effectively from one point to the next.

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes the discussion and reinforces your position.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

378 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

ageing population
benefits
disadvantages
advantages
experience
knowledge
contribution
economy
society
healthcare
youth employment
community
intergenerational support
volunteerism
mentorship
increased demand
pension costs
social welfare systems
workforce
productivity
intergenerational conflict
technological adaptability
dependency
effective
skill development
employment opportunities
intergenerational solidarity
communication
lifelong learning
technological literacy
age-friendly
social policies
infrastructure

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Include an introduction and conclusion

Many manufactured food and drink contains high levels of sugar, Which cause many health problems. Sugary should be made more expensive to encourage to people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

Small shops in towns and villages are closing and are being replaced by big stores. Do you think it is a good or a bad trend? Explain your opinion.

In many places, people’s lifestyles are changing rapidly, and this aﬀects family relationships. Do you think the advantages of such developments outweigh the disadvantages?