In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

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In the current era, there is a tight-knit relationship between all
people
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. Whether the presence of a growing population of the elderly in societies is a positive development is a matter of debate. As far as I am concerned, the presence of the elderly in countries can bring about numerous benefits. On the one hand, a panel of
people
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believe that the overpopulation of the elderly results in some drawbacks for the
government
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.
That is
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to say, the
government
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has to allocate a considerable budget for creating various facilities for
such
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throngs.
For example
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,
the
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elderly centres, medical facilities, and specialists have to be supplied for these
people
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. To clarify,
this
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older
generation
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

needs caring, so the
government
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has to dedicate young
force
Fix the agreement mistake
forces

It seems that force may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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such
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as nurses to these
people
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without payment.
Hence
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, a fresh and new
generation
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has to be devoted to looking after the elderly rather than utilizing their novel ideas in order to address upcoming social issues.
On the other hand
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, some contend that
this
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old
generation
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can potentially benefit society in different ways. To start with, a society can take
the
Correct article usage
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advantage of the elderly’s experience and wisdom. To simplify,
this
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generation
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had encountered various situations, so they had gained wisdom about how to meet different requirements. Take the
war
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between Iran and Iraq as an example.
New
Add an article
The new

The noun phrase New generation seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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generation
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

does not have the foggiest idea of how to survive
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war
Add an article
the war

The noun phrase war seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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,
while
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exposure to
war
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

has informed our grandparents about
such
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a situation.
Therefore
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, they can be a perfect mentor when it comes to
war
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.
Furthermore
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, elderlies are more likely to have community engagement.
This
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means
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma between the verb and object in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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they are more delighted to do voluntary jobs
due to
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

their retirements and loads of free time.
For instance
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they are absolutely enthusiastic to help in lining up the books on library
shelfs
Correct your spelling
shelves
shelf

If you don’t want shelfs to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

. Or voluntarily give other old
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

with serious illnesses a free lift to the hospital.
Consequently
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, if the
government
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ask for their help, it will be benefited from numerous
of
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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voluntary
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs

It seems that job may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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. The bottom line,
although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the older
generation
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

may require more budget and force in order to be looked after, the advantages of their presence in society clearly outweigh the downsides.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I am of the opinion that old population are highly essential in today’s nations.

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coherence cohesion
Make sure that every paragraph stays focused on one main idea and fully develops it. Occasionally, the essay shifts slightly off-topic before returning to the main point.
task achievement
While your ideas are generally clear and relevant, adding even more specific examples and evidences can strengthen your argument further.
coherence cohesion
The transition between the introduction and the body paragraphs can be slightly improved by more clearly outlining the structure of the essay in the introduction.
task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the topic and provides a clear position on the issue.
task achievement
You have provided appropriate examples to illustrate your points, which makes your argument more convincing.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical flow that guides the reader effectively from one point to the next.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the discussion and reinforces your position.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ageing population
  • benefits
  • disadvantages
  • advantages
  • experience
  • knowledge
  • contribution
  • economy
  • society
  • healthcare
  • youth employment
  • community
  • intergenerational support
  • volunteerism
  • mentorship
  • increased demand
  • pension costs
  • social welfare systems
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • intergenerational conflict
  • technological adaptability
  • dependency
  • effective
  • skill development
  • employment opportunities
  • intergenerational solidarity
  • communication
  • lifelong learning
  • technological literacy
  • age-friendly
  • social policies
  • infrastructure
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