Essay topics: Some people think that the government should give money to creative people, such as artists and musicians. To what extent do you agree?

#topics #people #government #money #artists #musicians

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The desire to show off talents and be well-known has produced inventive individuals like

artists

and musicians. Having provided entertainment and music for normal people to enjoy, whether creative people should be given money from the authorities is one of the burning topics that was ignited and kept until now.

This

essay disagrees with

this

and will explain the reasons. Advocates of the agreeing side argue that funds offered by the government will assist

artists

to continue their projects and plan bigger things. They have the most influence on the world and with the help of money, they would be able to spread their positive messages and make the world a better place by their specific talents.

Furthermore

, they are the main soul of entertainment. Without them, the world would be a more tedious place.

However

this

point overlooks potential risks that could lead to countries' instability.

However

, I posit that spending a budget on

artists

seems to be a meaningless task. Despite the listed benefits,

this

might be unlikely for some poor countries owing to the fact that more critical problems

such

as mass famine, the expansion of shantytowns, malnutrition among children and so on should be taken priority and solved first. Helping influencers first means worsening the country's state.

Moreover

, lies in the troupe are some bad ones, who, with the help of funds that governments provide, could spread detrimental influence, which culminated in many people imitating bad behaviours.

To sum up

while

subsidizing

artists

can be a beneficial act, it is more pivotal that it is not

being

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

recommended. In lieu of that, more dangerous problems that need action should be done first to stabilize the country.

Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on Wed Jun 05 2024

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task achievement

Your essay addresses the topic and presents a clear opinion, which is good. However, some points could be further expanded to provide a more comprehensive response. For instance, discuss specific examples or case studies to support your argument more effectively.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that your ideas flow smoothly from one to the next. There are a few places where the transition between ideas could be improved to enhance readability. Using linking words can help maintain the reader's interest and ensure clarity.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This helps the reader to follow your argument.

task achievement

You clearly state your opinion and address the main points on both sides of the argument. This demonstrates a balanced approach and understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

280 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

government grants
subsidies
cultural heritage
artistic freedom
economic stimulus
cultural diversity
public funding
tourism attraction
financial support
creative industries
allocate resources
essential sectors
direct societal benefits

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Essay topics: Some people think that the government should give money to creative people, such as artists and musicians. To what extent do you agree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation,such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money.others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Give your opinion.

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Some teachers think that changing subjects with every lesson will help their students focus more. However, other teachers think that offering their students several lessons on the same subject in a row will help them focus more. Which opinion do you think is better?

Some people think that sports involving violence such as boxing and martial arts should be banned from TV as well as from international sports competition. what is your opinion?