IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below give the number of people employed in five types of work in a certain region in Australia in 2001 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below give the number of people employed in five types of work in a certain region in Australia in 2001 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The supplied bar chart illustrates how many
people
Use synonyms
 were employed in five various types of occupation in
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 area which is certain in
Australia
Use synonyms
 in 2001 and 2008. A glance at the graph reveals that the highest amount of
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 were hired in sales
position
Fix the agreement mistake
positions
show examples
 in
Australia
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,the companies did not prefer to employ
people
Use synonyms
 as
Farmes
Correct your spelling
farms
 over the period. In 2008,the average of
people
Use synonyms
 who were chosen to
sale
Replace the word
sell
show examples
 was just over 160000 in
Australia
Use synonyms
.(Which was the highest rate of
employing
Replace the word
employment
show examples
 over the whole year),just ahead of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 who were selected for sales (150000
people
Use synonyms
)in
Australia
Use synonyms
 in 2001.
Moreover
Linking Words
,hiring
people
Use synonyms
 for accounting in
Australia
Use synonyms
 in 2001 was as popular as employing in 2008 with roughly 60000 persons.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
 employers did not tend to hire workers for Farming with 20000
people
Use synonyms
 in
Australia
Use synonyms
 in both years(2001 and 2008).
in addition
Linking Words
,the average
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
population who were chosen for Computing and Nursing was just around
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
50000 in the country in 2001 and approximately 60000 in
Australia
Use synonyms
 in 2008,respectively.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words people, australia with synonyms.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • employment trends
  • workforce
  • sector
  • industry
  • agriculture
  • services
  • economic factors
  • technological advancements
  • policy changes
  • notable increases/decreases
  • statistical data
  • regional employment patterns
  • comparative analysis
  • percentage points
  • employment rate
What to do next:
Look at other essays: