Question--Some people say that TV Advertisement have benefits, while others believe the opposite. Discuss both views , give your own opinion and include examples from your experience

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in
this
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decade,
while
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some individuals contend that
TV
Use synonyms
ads
considered
Add a missing verb
are considered
show examples
to be beneficial,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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others hold the contrary belief.
This
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essay will discuss both these points of view and argue in favour of the latter. It must be understood that the
TV
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commercial's advantage is to appeal
more
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to more
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clients
to
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for
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those products.
Due to
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this
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reason,
it
Correct pronoun usage
there
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is no harm
advertising
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in advertising
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productions on
TV
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.
As a consequence
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, the viewers have more chances to approach these kinds of goods and it is significantly beneficial to those who are in
needs
Fix the agreement mistake
need
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.
Thus
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,
television's
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television
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ads have
ability
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the ability
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to assist their customers
to enhance
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in enhancing
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their comprehension
about
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of
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the materials.
However
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, some people believe that it is a type of time-consuming
disturbing
Correct word choice
and disturbs
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them when they are concentrating on the programs.
For
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this
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reason, some advertisements
repetively
Correct your spelling
repetitively
respectively
appear on screens causing
tediuos
Correct your spelling
tedious
feelings and gradually
lose
Wrong verb form
losing
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the viewers' interest in these
TV
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chanels
Correct your spelling
channels
.
Hence
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, there is a decreasing number of people watching television,
instead
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, they choose to go online and
watching
Wrong verb form
watch
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youtube
Correct your spelling
YouTube
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with
premium
Correct article usage
a premium
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package without advertisements. Clearly,
this
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essay has shown
that
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apply
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the importance of advertising products on
TV
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impacting the needs of viewers,
additionally
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, there are
also
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some
of
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apply
show examples
the
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apply
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amusing ads which help the audience to relax and not get caught up in the movie for too long which can cause
addition
Replace the word
additional
show examples
and harmful to eyes.
Therefore
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it is vital to keep advertising on
the
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apply
show examples
television

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task achievement
While the introduction does set up the essay, it can be improved by being slightly more clear and concise. Also, clarify your opinion earlier in the introduction.
coherence cohesion
Paragraphs should be more coherent. Try to use more linking phrases and clear topic sentences to make the flow of the essay smoother.
task achievement
Provide specific examples to strengthen your arguments. Personal experiences, specific advertisements, or statistical data would make your points more compelling.
task achievement
Revise sentences for grammatical accuracy and clarity. Minor grammatical errors can be distracting and can lower the quality of your writing.
task achievement
Good use of contrasting viewpoints. The essay presents both sides of the argument fairly.
coherence cohesion
Clear paragraph structure with distinct sections for different viewpoints.
coherence cohesion
You have provided a conclusion that summarizes the main points effectively and reiterates your stance.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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