In many countries the widespread use of internet has given people more freedom to work or study at home instead of traveling to work or college. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

#countries #internet #people #freedom #work #study #home #college

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Nowadays, ubiquitous

Internet

access provides an opportunity for

people

to do occupations or coursework online at

home

instead

of going to

work

or the academy. Personally, I think that the benefits of

this

statement easily outweigh any disadvantages. On the one hand, there are a lot of advantages of studying or working at

home

through the

Internet

Firstly

, the main plus is that it is convenient for all society.

For instance

, just by using their gadgets,

people

are able to save their time which is usually leaving to get dressed, clean up, travel to

work

, and so on.

Secondly

, if individuals stay at

home

and just do their deals utilizing phones or computers, they would be safe because they would not face any unpredictable problems during their travel to

work

or university.

Finaly

Correct your spelling

Finally

, it is true that individuals could gain much more money by doing freelance, which means that the web has plenty of opportunities where

people

would able to obtain not just money, but

also

several kinds of skills.

Nevertheless

, it is fair to mention that there are some minor drawbacks. Many individuals have no the capability to purchase any extra gadgets to both

work

or learn online. It means that they have to earn first money from offline jobs, and after need

to begin

freelancing or studying at

home

Although

people

have the ability to buy needed technologies, they actually do have not any skills which are required to

work

online.

Nonetheless

, they are able to master the necessary knowledge to do online actions just by studying from provided

internet

materials. In conclusion, as the

internet

spreads every day, there are many opportunities where

people

can easily earn cash or the knowledge they need, which means that

this

development has

much

Fix the agreement mistake

many

show examples

more benefits rather than disadvantages.

Submitted by talgattan4ez on Thu Aug 08 2024

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task response

You should aim to provide more specific examples to support your arguments. This will strengthen your task response score.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, but the body paragraphs can be better organized to improve the logical flow. Try to use more cohesive devices like ‘furthermore’, ‘in addition’, and ‘however’.

task response

The essay provides a comprehensive response to the task and covers both advantages and disadvantages, although examples can be more specific.

coherence cohesion

You’ve clearly structured your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that address different points, and a conclusion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

298 words

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In many countries the widespread use of internet has given people more freedom to work or study at home instead of traveling to work or college. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many people think that the behaviour of professional sportsmen/sportswomen on or off the field is not important as long as they are good players.To what extent do you agree or disagree with it ?

It is a natural process for animal species to become extinct (e.g. dinosaur, dodos …). There is no reason why people should try to prevent this from happening. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that entering the workplace after school is far more beneficial than studying at university. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The use of mobile phones by students during school has become increasingly common. What are the advantages and disadvantages of allowing students to use mobile phones in schools?