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Band 5

The plans show the layout of a public library now and how it will look after development.

#plans #show #layout #library #development
Contained in the blueprint is the information pertaining to the alterations of public
library
Fix the agreement mistake
libraries
show examples
 at present and in the
future
. In general, the two restrooms will
be remained
Wrong verb form
remain
show examples
,
while
 most of the utilities will be relocated with the expansion to the east side of the public
library
. Looking at the present layout of the public
library
,
it is clear that
 the two restrooms will be located at the same place in the
future
.
Furthermore
, most of the book sections will be relocated with the fantasy bookshelf to the front of the restrooms and the two sections of
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
books
 are going to be moved to the new
area
 of
public
Add an article
the public
a public
show examples
library
,
however
, romance
books
 and thriller
books
 will
be stayed
Change to the active voice
stay
have stayed
show examples
 the same. Another consideration is the entrance will become the main
area
 entrance in the
future
,
whereas
 the sitting
area
 will be the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of the main
area
. Turning to the alterations of the public
library
, the wall behind the recent book storage on the right will be demolished
while
 the mystery
books
 storage will be opposite
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the seating
area
. The computer room will be constructed in the bottom right corner of the
future
library
,
while
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
books
 will be moved in front of the computer room and the new seating will be added next to the book storage.
Moreover
, another
kids
Change noun form
kid's
kids'
show examples
books
 in the top left corner of the new staff room and store will be added to the east side and the staff entrance to the north-eastern side of the
library
.
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coherence cohesion
Enhance the clarity of ideas by breaking down the information into smaller, more manageable parts and ensure each paragraph focuses on one key point.
introduction conclusion present
Include a clear conclusion that summarizes the main changes and compares the overall layout of the library before and after development.
task achievement
Check for minor grammar and vocabulary inaccuracies to improve clarity and precision of the description.
coherence cohesion
Use more varied sentence structures and transition words to improve the flow and coherence of the essay.
task achievement
The response successfully covers the main changes in the development plan for the public library.
task achievement
Key details about the relocation and addition of book sections and other facilities are provided.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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