Some people feel that governments should take a large proportion of people’s salaries to pay for necessary public services such as roads and schools. Others feel that high taxes are a bad thing. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Some individuals believe that governments must use a big part of people’s wages on crucial public needs
such
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as the construction of educational buildings and roads.
In contrast
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, others think that the rise in contribution is detrimental. In my opinion,
such
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regulations are a great idea. The investment in my country’s public services is the cornerstone of its development.
However
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, the high tariff must not have a bad impact on the less well-off and those who are in a critical life situation. I feel the wealthy ones should help the ones who need it. On the one hand, taxes are a crucial tool for the well-being of a country. The money can be used for the development of the infrastructure or the educational system.
For instance
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, there are many free bachelor’s courses in Europe. The multiple universities were founded using the money that was raised from taxes.
Moreover
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,
this
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change would promote equality in society. The better off would be helping the poor ones. If
this
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law had existed before, the quality of life would be better now.
On the other hand
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, high expense might have a detrimental impact. It is a widely held view that hard work should be rewarded,
although
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the environment we are living in will benefit from improvements in services.
In addition
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, it would be a radical change to give a large percentage of the usual salary to some individuals who are used to taking advantage of it for years.
Furthermore
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, the citizens would choose to migrate in order to live in a country with a better taxation system.
For example
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, professionals
such
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as engineers or doctors would move to a place where they could spend and save their money depending on their preferences. In conclusion, taking a large part of the workers’ salaries is a beneficial factor for the future of a country. Even if
this
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has a few drawbacks,
such
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as the disagreement of some individuals, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. I believe that
rate
Correct subject-verb agreement
rates
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are a vital mechanism for ensuring access to free education, healthcare and transportation.

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task response
Answer both sides in a more equal way. Your view is clear, but one side has more support than the other.
task response
Use examples that are more direct and more real. Some examples are good, but they need more detail.
task response
Keep your main idea the same from start to end. In the end, you change to 'advantages outweigh disadvantages', but this is a discuss-both-views essay.
coherence and cohesion
Put one clear main idea in each body paragraph, then add 2 or 3 supporting points.
coherence and cohesion
Some links are good, but a few ideas do not connect very smoothly. Check how each sentence follows the one before it.
coherence and cohesion
Be careful with some unclear words like 'expense', 'contribution', and 'tariff' for taxes. This can make your point harder to follow.
task response
You answer both views and give your opinion clearly in the introduction.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear paragraph plan: introduction, two body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words like 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', 'Moreover', and 'Furthermore'.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Proportion of salary
  • Necessary public services
  • Economic growth
  • Quality of life
  • Redistributing wealth
  • Discourage
  • Motivation and productivity
  • Favorable tax conditions
  • Infringement on personal freedom
  • Balanced approach
  • Progressive tax system
  • Economic activity
  • Financial growth
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