IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In many countries, more and more people choose to buy imported food rather than food produced locally. Why people buy imported food? What could be done to encourage people to buy local food?

#countries #people #food
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Nowadays, there is a trend rise in many nations that encourages individuals to buy foodstuff from foreign brands
instead
 of local ones.
However
,
this
 can be changed by the introduction of local products through
announcement
Fix the agreement mistake
announcements
show examples
. It must be acknowledged that the reduction in local
sales
 is caused by the lack of interest.
In other words
, the product
sales
 rely heavily on customers’ interest, which has been occupied by the wave of newer, well-known imported
food
. Because of the fact that humans want to refresh with new flavours these new foods will become trendy because they can bring
a unique tastes
Correct the article-noun agreement
a unique taste
unique tastes
show examples
 to satisfy native residents.
Subsequently
, as more and more citizens are interested in imported
food
, its sale on the market will increase because of its variety
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 creates a curiosity among customers who are willing to try new things. Meanwhile, its increase will equal the decrease in local
food
sales
. Using advertisements is a solution that should be considered to increase local
food
sales
 because of its spreading ability. There is no doubt that advertisements can help boost the product image by introducing it
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and
also
 increasing the recognition of products in many ways.
As a result
, advertising will be the trigger that leads to the outburst in the selling of local foods as the image of the brands
got
Verb problem
apply
show examples
improved by the variety of advertising means. In conclusion, imported
foodstuff’
Change noun form
foodstuff’s
show examples
 domination in the market is attributed to their popularity among people who want to experience new foods.
However
, it can be addressed by using advertisements to boost the sale of local cuisine
due to
 the boost in recognition it can provide for the local brands.

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task achievement
Try to provide more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. This will help in illustrating your points more effectively.
task achievement
Work on enhancing the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas. Some parts of your essay are a bit unclear and could be articulated more clearly.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your logical structure is consistent throughout the essay. Some arguments could be connected better to improve flow.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and effectively frame the essay, setting up and wrapping up the discussion well.
task achievement
You have addressed the task effectively by discussing both why people buy imported food and how local food sales could be encouraged.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • allure
  • novelty
  • diversity
  • perception
  • premium
  • globalization
  • cuisines
  • economic factors
  • subsidies
  • tariffs
  • competitive
  • farm-to-table
  • eco-conscious
  • consumption
  • sustainability
  • local economy
What to do next:
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