In many countries today, people buy a range of household goods( television, microwave, oven and rice cookers). Is it a positive or negative development?

In the modern era, most families buy a lot of household appliances for their house to help with housework. The writer of
this
essay argues with
this
notion that it can help
people
save a lot of
time
as well as
improve their
knowledge
in various fields. It is vital to understand that technological devices can help humans make major career shifts by saving a lot of
time
. To put it simply, in the foreseeable future,
people
will spend money buying numerous modern gadgets to make a complex and cutting-edge system aimed at not wasting much
time
on housework.
For instance
, nowadays, some households have a rice cooker which can cook rice automatically
instead
of spending many hours adjusting the temperature.
In addition
, an oven can help humans with barbecuing meat without being fired. Another reason why families purchase a vast number of household appliances is how
people
can receive
knowledge
around the world from modern devices.
In other words
,
people
can research how to use modern gadgets in the correct way.
For example
, some young children can improve their
knowledge
by watching programs on television.
Furthermore
, some olders can relax and be entertained by listening to music or news on the radio. In conclusion, spending enough money on technological devices
due to
their benefits helps
people
reduce
time
wastage on housework
as well as
people
gain a large amount of
knowledge
and entertainment.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

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task achievement
The essay provides a complete response to the prompt by discussing both the time-saving benefits and the knowledge-enhancing advantages of household appliances. However, the ideas could be expanded further to provide a more comprehensive argument.
task achievement
The ideas presented in the essay are clear and easy to follow. However, there are some minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that could be improved to enhance clarity and coherence. For example, 'the writer of this essay argues with this notion' could be simplified to 'this essay argues'.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is sound, with each paragraph discussing a separate main point. However, the transition between the two body paragraphs could be smoother. Consider adding a transition sentence to link the ideas more cohesively.
task achievement
The essay includes relevant and specific examples to support the main points, such as the rice cooker and television. More varied examples could further strengthen the arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively summarizing the main points discussed.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, such as the rice cooker and television, helps to illustrate the points made in the essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses the question directly and provides a balanced discussion of the topic.

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