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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The line graph shows the prison population in a European country between 1911 and 2001.

The line graph shows the prison population in a European country between 1911 and 2001.
#line #prison #population #european #country
The given line graph depicts
of
Correct article usage
the of
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 population
in
Change preposition
apply
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penitentiary
Correct your spelling
penitentiarys
 for both genders in a country in Europe from 1911 to 2001. The figures were measured in
thousand
Fix the agreement mistake
thousands
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 (
T
). Generally speaking , it can be seen that the highest proportion
for
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of
show examples
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
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 was in 2001
whereas
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 showed the largest number in 1911. It can
also
 be observed that the details for
male
Correct article usage
the male
show examples
 population experienced an increase
while
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 decreased in the same time period. Looking at the statistics in more detail, an upward trend
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
male
Add an article
the male
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 population could be noted. The proportion remained constant around 20T
form
Correct your spelling
from
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 1911 to 1921 before fell to its lowest point at more than 10T in the next decade. After that, the number went up rapidly between 1971 and 1981 from 20T to 40T and the trend still continued in the next following years. Moving onto the remaining statistics, the proportion of
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 was
in
Change preposition
at
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highest
Add an article
the highest
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 point in 1911 at approximately 3,2T
then
 decreased sharply from just less than 3T to 0.5T between 1921 and 1941 before
fluctuated
Wrong verb form
fluctuating
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 in the next 40 years , slightly
went
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
 up from 1981 to 1991 and ended in 2001 at roughly 1.5T

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Vocabulary: Replace the words t with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "went up" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuation
  • steady rise
  • sharp decline
  • plateau
  • spike
  • dip
  • trend
  • peak
  • period
  • decade
  • stable
  • significant change
  • historical context
  • socio-political factors
  • implications
  • legal system
  • economy
  • social services
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