IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In many countries, more and more people choose to buy imported food rather than food produced locally. Why people buy imported food? What could be done to encourage people buy local food?

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Throughout the world, a host of citizens are opting to purchase imported
food
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instead
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 of locally produced
food
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.
This
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 is happening
due to
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 the variety of yield,
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however
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however,
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people
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 can be persuaded to shop for local
products
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 by promoting local
food
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festival
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festivals
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. It must be understood that the core factor leading to the demand for imported
products
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 is the classification of
supplement
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supplements
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. In many countries, farmers just cultivate only a few
of
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apply
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plants which
do
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does
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 not gain more attention
to
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from
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people
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 in these nations.
Therefore
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, many
people
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 choose
consuming
Verb problem
to spend
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 more money on imported
food
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 rather than local
products
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.
For instance
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, in the UK, the climate is not suitable for cultivating some representative plants so the citizens always prefer consuming foreign
food
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, predominantly which is grown in Asia as durian, rambutan or even orange.
Thus
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, when
go
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going
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the
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apply
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shopping, inhabitants have a tendency to opt for abroad
products
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. Another argument worth considering is that the local authority can boost native
food
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by
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in
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local
Correct article usage
the local
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food
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 market. When the government allow the regional cultivators to organize the territorial harvest trade, both visitors and denizens
also
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 have knowledge of
more
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apply
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the regional
food
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 and have an opportunity to taste their
flavors
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flavours
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.
Thus
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, many
people
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 after attending
this
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 festival,
they
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apply
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spend more money on the native
food
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 which the previous time they
do
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did
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 not want to opt for. Thanks to that campaign, many agricultural zones like Long Khanh City can publicize their
products
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for
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to
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 the provincial
people
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. In conclusion, there are more core factors leading to the demand for consuming imported
food
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 but the foremost reason
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that need
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need
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needs
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 to be regarded is the category.
However
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,
this
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 situation can be tackled by the fair popularizing the native
products
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.

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Suggestion
In the first paragraph, consider expanding on why variety in imported food appeals to consumers. This would give readers a better understanding of the reason behind this preference.
Language
Try to use diverse vocabulary to express the same ideas. For instance, instead of repeatedly using phrases like "spend more money," consider alternatives like "invest in" or "opt for."
Content
You could elaborate more on how government campaigns and food festivals specifically change consumer behavior towards local food. More concrete examples would strengthen your argument.
Structure
While your arguments are clear, the flow could be improved by smoother transitions between ideas. Consider using linking words and phrases like "Consequently," "Furthermore," and "As a result."
Introduction
Your introduction provides a clear overview of the essay's main points, which sets the stage well for the arguments that follow.
Example
You have provided relevant examples, such as the case of the UK and Long Khanh City, which help illustrate your points effectively.
Organization
Your essay is well-organized, with each paragraph focusing on a separate point that directly answers the questions posed in the prompt.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • allure
  • novelty
  • diversity
  • perception
  • premium
  • globalization
  • cuisines
  • economic factors
  • subsidies
  • tariffs
  • competitive
  • farm-to-table
  • eco-conscious
  • consumption
  • sustainability
  • local economy
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