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Band 6.5

The charts below show average age of men and women retired from work in 7 countries in 2004 and 2008.

The charts below show average age of men and women retired from work in 7 countries in 2004 and 2008.
#show #age #men #women #work #countries
The bar graphs illustrate the information about the average of the male and female’s
age
 retiring in 7 different nations between 2004 and 2008.
This
 figure is measured in
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 old(
YO
).
Overall
, in
both
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
, the average
age
 of people in 2004
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 lower than the average
age
 of people in 2008 with the exception of Italy.
In addition
,
Sweden
 is a country which has the oldest average retirement
age
both
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
male and female. Looking at the men’s chart, we can clearly see that Germany and Denmark had the same trend which in 2008 saw a higher
age
 by 1
YO
 (60 and 61 in Germany; 59 and 60 in Denmark). France,
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
,
Netherlands
Correct article usage
the Netherlands
show examples
 and
Sweden
got
Verb problem
had
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 similar tendency which in 2004 witnessed a lower
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 nearly 0.5
YO
.
Additionally
,
Sweden
 has the highest average
age
 in
both
 2004 and 2008
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
at 63
YO
 and nearly 64
YO
. In Italy, there was
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 same data in
both
 sexes at 58
YO
. Turning back to the women’s chart, it can be seen that Germany, Denmark, France and Italy were the four nations which had average
age
 under 60
YO
. The others
such
 as
Netherlands
Correct article usage
the Netherlands
show examples
,
Sweden
 and
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 were the countries which had higher 60
YO
 in
both
 sexes and in
both
 years.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, yo, both, sweden with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • average age
  • retirement
  • comparative analysis
  • trend
  • significant
  • age gap
  • correlation
  • life expectancy
  • pension policies
  • societal norms
  • economic conditions
  • regions
  • investigation
  • findings
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