In developed countries, more and more people buy and use their cars. Do the advantages for people of cars using outweight its disadvantages on environment.
The rates of purchasing and usage of private
cars
are increasing in developed countries. Although
people use their personal vehicles
on a daily basis, it can cause a number
of environmental issues.
In developed countries, increasing the number
of private cars
has caused air
pollution
. The main reason is that all vehicles
move by burning fuels. Burning gasoline and diesel fuel creates harmful byproducts. As a result
, a large amount of carbon dioxide is released into the atmosphere and causes air
pollution
. For example
, Tashkent is becoming one of the most air
-polluted cities
. Because 76% of the population use their own transport. Thus
, using a large number
of cars
could cause air
pollution
.
Furthermore
, in modern cities
, most people claim that there is a lot of noise due to
private cars
. The reason why noise pollution
is experienced in big cities
is that increasing the number
of personal vehicles
also
causes many traffic jams. It can also
increase the risk of accidents. For example
, New York is becoming one of the most noise-polluted cities
. Because approximately
50000 private Correct word choice
Approximately
cars
are used by people and average
Correct article usage
an average
27
traffic jams are experienced every day because of personal Change preposition
of 27
vehicles
.
In conclusion, owning a car offers several advantages such
as saving time, privacy, improving quality of life and so on. On the other hand
, it also
increases the rates of air
pollution
, traffic jams, noise pollution
, risk of accidents, the greenhouse effect, climate changing
and so on. Replace the word
change
Therefore
, owning private cars
has more disadvantages than its advantages.Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on
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task achievement
Your introduction clearly sets the context. To improve, consider explicitly stating your position on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages in the introduction.
coherence cohesion
While your main points are generally well-organized, ensure that each point is developed thoroughly with sufficient explanation and examples. For instance, the impact of air pollution on health or the environment could be elaborated further.
task achievement
Work on providing more specific and varied examples to support your points. Examples can sometimes feel repetitive and could be diversified to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
To improve logical flow, make sure to use a variety of linking words and phrases. For example, using connectors like 'furthermore,' 'in addition,' and 'however' can make your essay more cohesive.
coherence cohesion
Make your conclusion more assertive by summarizing the key points and restating your opinion clearly. This will help in reinforcing your argument.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both advantages and disadvantages, which makes for a balanced discussion.
task achievement
The use of specific city examples like Tashkent and New York brings a real-world dimension to your arguments.
coherence cohesion
You have used a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames the essay effectively.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...