Claim: When planning courses, educators should take into account the interests and suggestions of their students. Reason: Students are more motivated to learn when they are interested in what they are studying. Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim and the reason on which that claim is

A claim
contend
Change the verb form
contends
show examples
that
educators
should take into consideration
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
students
' opinions, which is based on the reason that
students
can be more involved in classes and result in
increase
Add an article
an increase
show examples
in efficiency is a complex one. In my point of view,
while
it is important to listen
from
Change preposition
to
show examples
students
and make moderate adjustments
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
current teaching methods, it is
also
necessary to ensure
students
are not taking
advantages
Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
show examples
by only learning the ones they prefer, but
also
On one hand, It is true that
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
understanding
prefered
Correct your spelling
preferred
learning
style
Fix the agreement mistake
styles
show examples
and making inquiries for opinions in advance can help
educators
with providing
Wrong verb form
provide
show examples
more suitable and efficient education.
For instance
, a questionnaire can be designed to find out what kind of learning style
does
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
students
prefer, or what kind of topics are more unfamiliar which requires more materials
presenting
Wrong verb form
presented
show examples
for better understanding, and
also
, to give some blank spaces for any suggestions that can be helpful. By implementing practices based on the
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
gathered earlier,
educators
then
can present a better education.
On the other hand
, It is worth
notice
Replace the word
noticing
show examples
that over-satisfying the requests from
students
can result in
a
Change the article
an
show examples
imbalance in presenting
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
comprehensive learning content.
For example
, too
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
activities in class can potentially limit the time
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
discussing other
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
.
While
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
certain aspects of knowledge and practices are excessively performed, other aspects of the contents and
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
are less emphasized, or even not neglected. The responsibility of every educator is to ensure
students
receive
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
with impartiality.
To sum up
, I agree with the claim that teachers should be looking into the
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
show examples
of the
students
to perform better educational
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
. By integrating the
feedbacks
Fix the agreement mistake
feedback
show examples
,
educators
then
can increase the willingness
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
students
to participate and have higher
engagements
Fix the agreement mistake
engagement
show examples
which can result in better learning performance.
However
, it is
also
necessary to draw the line from over-emphasizing
requirement
Fix the agreement mistake
requirements
show examples
from
students
. Any adjustments should
be aim
Change the verb form
be aiming
show examples
for the increase of efficiency or interests, rather than sacrificing other
contens
Correct your spelling
content
which is as important as any other ones.
Educators
should strike a balance between these two factors to execute a comprehensive educational strategy.
Submitted by lil40629890 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Work on strengthening your logical structure. While you have a clear introduction and conclusion, try to develop your arguments in a more organized manner. Consider using topic sentences and clearly delineating your main points to enhance readability.
Task Achievement
Ensure that every part of the essay contributes to the argument or provides a relevant and clear idea. Avoid including minor errors and gaps in reasoning. For example, improve the clarity of the second paragraph by linking your example more directly to the topic sentence.
Task Achievement
Include more specific, relevant examples to support your argument. The examples provided are somewhat vague and could be made more concrete to better illustrate your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Review grammar and syntax to minimize errors. Punctuation and sentence structure can be refined to improve the overall readability, for instance, ensuring that sentences are properly segmented with commas and conjunctions.
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt and presents a balanced view of the issue. It recognizes the importance of considering students' opinions while also maintaining the educator's responsibility to deliver comprehensive content.
Coherence and Cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and offers a clear stance. It reiterates the balance that educators must strike between accommodating students' interests and ensuring a well-rounded education.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!