IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries, more and more people choose to imported food rather than food produced locally. Why people buy imported food? What could be done to encourage people to buy local food?

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Using imported
food
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 is a trend for
people
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 in the modern era. There is an increasing
in
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apply
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number of
people
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in
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apply
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around the world
are
Correct pronoun usage
who are
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 opting to purchase imported
food
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instead
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 of locally produced
food
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.
This
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 is happening because of the availability and seasonability,
therefore
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 action needs to be taken to encourage
consumers
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 to buy locally by getting some incentives and
subsides
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subsidies
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. It must be understood that some
foods
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 might be
in
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apply
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out of
seasons
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season
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 so
that
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apply
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it becomes
a
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apply
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necessary action to import these types of
products
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 for
the
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apply
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consumption. In
otherwords
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other words
, the governments want to import these
produces
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products
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 in a
year
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yearly
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 rounds which make a wide range
in using
Verb problem
of
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products
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.
Consequently
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, it might help the
consumers
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 have
ability
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the ability
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 to buy
the
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apply
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overseas
food
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also
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 the
food
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 is invalid at that time.
For example
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, some continents use imported
foods
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such
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 as cherries or apples which
only
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are only
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 valid
at
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in
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 some
of
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apply
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seasons
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the seasons
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 or right
condition
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conditions
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 for
the
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apply
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growth so
people
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 want
importing
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to import
show examples
 these kinds of
products
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 for the utilization.
However
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, it can be
also
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 known that
they
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the
show examples
 government try to cheer
people
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 up for the acquisition
in
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of
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 local
food
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 by helping hand local farmers to reduce the price of
food
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. Specifically in some situations, they could have a sale for the local items which
attract
Correct subject-verb agreement
attracts
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 the
consumers
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 to buy because of lower prices.
Accordingly
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, it will help the buyers have
a
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the
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 motivation
in buying
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to buy
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 local
products
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 rather than
the
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apply
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imported ones. Take some local
products
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 in some countries as an example, they try to excite the
consumers
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 by some sales to entice them
buy
Add the particle
to buy
show examples
 it,
also
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 help the local farms sell all these
products
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. To recapitulate, it is a great option in importing commodities which
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 the buyers
could
Verb problem
apply
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buy some
foods
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 out of
seasons
Fix the agreement mistake
season
show examples
 and have a variety selection in their dailies.
Nevertheless
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, the government should persuade
people
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 to buy local
foods
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by
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through
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 some
excite
Replace the word
exciting
show examples
sale
Fix the agreement mistake
sales
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
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 the local farms.

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coherence cohesion
Consider more effective ways to structure your argument. While the essay has a logical structure, there are parts that feel disjointed, such as the odd transition in the middle of some paragraphs.
task achievement
Strengthen your arguments with more detailed and specific examples. Try to include data or real-world examples to enhance your points.
task achievement
Focus on improving clarity and coherence in your ideas. For example, avoid overuse of redundant phrases and be clear in your statements.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion on the reasons people buy imported food and how to encourage local food purchase.
task achievement
The main points are clearly presented and generally supported, reflecting a good understanding of the underlying issues and potential solutions.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • allure
  • novelty
  • diversity
  • perception
  • premium
  • globalization
  • cuisines
  • economic factors
  • subsidies
  • tariffs
  • competitive
  • farm-to-table
  • eco-conscious
  • consumption
  • sustainability
  • local economy
What to do next:
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