IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The table below shows the worldwide market share of the mobile phone market for manufacturers in the years 2005 and 2006.

The table below shows the worldwide market share of the mobile phone market for manufacturers in the years 2005 and 2006.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given table below illustrates worldwide mobile phone sales data in 2005 and 2006. We can clearly see that Nokia has been leading the industry as always. BenQ Mobile has been
at the end
Linking Words
 of the list. First of all, other brands had 19.2 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in 2005, but it decreased to 16.2 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in 2006 .
Next
Correct article usage
The next
show examples
 brand
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
 always
lasted
Verb problem
been
show examples
BenQ Mobile.
L.G
Correct your spelling
L.G.
 had 6.7 per
cent
Use synonyms
 marketing share in 2005, but dropped to 6.3 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in 2006.
That is
Linking Words
 why; Sony Ericsson passed L.G by 1.2 per
cent
Use synonyms
. Samsung started with 12.7 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in 2005 and
end
Wrong verb form
ended
show examples
 with 11.8 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in 2006. Motorola had 17.7 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in 2005
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and increased to 21.1 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in 2006.
To sum up
Linking Words
, Nokia had 32.5 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in 2005 and climbed up to 35 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in 2006. Nokia has been bigger than other marketing share in both 2005 and 2006.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words cent with synonyms.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: