Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

individuals when confronted with challenges
such
as an unfulfilling job and low income will be divided into two distinct groups. Some
people
think that accepting the bad circumstances is the best solution.
On the contrary
, other folks disagree and believe that they should take responsibility for their
lives
and deal with
problems
in bad conditions.
This
essay agrees that
people
should attempt to change their
lives
in undesirable situations rather than have a sedentary
life
and accept whatever happened. The details will be explained in the following paragraphs. Some
people
in tough circumstances like having an unsatisfactory job, choose to do nothing and easily accept it
due to
they think it is the best possible solution.
In other words
, they select
this
way because running away from issues is much easier than engaging with them.
As a result
, many of them will have a static
life
and never develop or achieve their goals and dreams.
For example
, in 2020, it was reported in the New York Times that 80
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
of successful
people
had many
problems
in their
lives
but never gave up and tried to solve their
problems
.
On the other hand
, another group strives to discover a proper solution for difficult conditions and improve themselves
instead
of accepting them easily.
However
, sometimes changing or facing troubles is more difficult than finding a way to tackle the
problems
but having a fighter character results in individual development.
Moreover
, when
people
make themselves change their
lives
and beat their
problems
can grow up and achieve their desires.
For instance
, a report published in the Washington Post in 2024 revealed that approximately 70
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
of persons who tried to overcome
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
problems
could
became
Change the verb form
become
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
successful person.
To conclude
,
this
essay
support
Correct subject-verb agreement
supports
show examples
that taking responsibility and
attempt
Wrong verb form
attempting
show examples
to change bad circumstances is the best choice to progress and develop in
life
rather than stay and have a sedentary
life
.
Submitted by pouya_mokhtarpour on

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coherence cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, your essay is logically structured and easy to follow. However, try to make your transitions between ideas smoother. Phrases like 'In addition,' 'Furthermore,' or 'On the contrary' can be useful to signal new points or counterarguments more clearly.
task achievement
For task achievement, you've done well to address both sides of the argument and have provided relevant examples. However, make sure to address all parts of the prompt in more detail. For example, you could discuss specific strategies people might use to improve their situations.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, consider breaking down longer sentences into smaller ones to improve readability. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph clearly aligns with your main argument or counterargument to maintain a tight, logical structure.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction is clear and sets up the debate effectively, immediately indicating your stance on the issue.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion succinctly summarizes your main points, reinforcing your argument in a concise manner.
relevant specific examples
You provided relevant and specific examples which strengthen your argument and make it more credible.
supported main points
Your main points are generally clear and supported by examples, which shows a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
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