Some people think most crimes are the result of circumstances like poverty and other social problems. Others believe that they are caused by people who are bad in nature. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Some individuals believe that crime is
due to
uncontrollable situations, while
others think it is because of the normal development of those people
. I think circumstances can make people
more prone to do
criminal actions. Both points of view Unnecessary verb
apply
along with
my opinion will be further
explained in this
essay.
To begin
with, living in unwanted
area with Add an article
an unwanted
the unwanted
poor
monthly salary can be very challenging Add an article
a poor
to
many Change preposition
for
people
. To explain more, living with lake
of money Add an article
a lake
the lake
due to
, Correct article usage
a reduce
reduce
salary will make Wrong verb form
reduced
people
live in low quality of life
. Therefore
, some individuals tend to do
crimes and steal Verb problem
commit
banks
, because they believe that the only way to live Change preposition
from banks
in
a Change preposition
apply
privilege
Change the verb form
privileged
life
with money is to do so. A prime example, in Japan, university students conducted a survey among prison residences and it revealed that the main reason of
criminal actions Change preposition
for
were
their need to live in high standard Change the verb form
was
life
. Change preposition
of life
Hence
, the need for money and better
Correct article usage
a better
life
is the driven
for Replace the word
drive
people
to do criminal activities, and rise
their standard of living.
Correct your spelling
raise
Nevertheless
, the psychological developments
of humans is complex, and it starts from day one after the child is born. children’s brain growth and structure Fix the agreement mistake
development
is
variable from one another, and even their response to outer circumstances is different. Correct subject-verb agreement
are
In other words
, some people
normal psychological developments lead to the growing of criminal thoughts in their Change noun form
people's
brain
. Fix the agreement mistake
brains
For example
, The university
of Arizona conducted a study a long USA prisons revealed thatCapitalize word
University
,
Remove the comma
apply
people
with criminal records have showed
no evidence of psychological disorders. Change the verb form
shown
In addition
, the study showed that they are normal. Thus
, individuals are bad because they are originally in their normal development.
To conclude
, after the above-mentioned points, being
some with criminal records are far away from what is Unnecessary verb
apply
happing
in someone’s Verb problem
happening
life
. However
, I think the need to live a decent life
may drive some people
to attend doing
crimes.Verb problem
commit
Submitted by Selfigih7 on
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coherence
Ensure all sentences contribute directly to answering the essay question, and avoid repetition.
coherence
Proofread for grammar and spelling errors to enhance clarity and precision.
task achievement
Develop each main point further with detailed explanations and additional specific examples.
introduction and conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively present your viewpoint.
complete response
You have addressed both sides of the argument, which fully meets the task requirement.