Write about the following topic: Levels of youth crime are increasing rapidly in most cities around the world. What are the reasons for this, and suggest some solutions? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
The number of crime commitments has been proliferated in many cities all over the world. I can identify two main reasons and their possible solutions, which we will describe now.
Perhaps, the main reason is unemployment, which can make youngsters unable to afford their lives.
In other words
, those who do not have a proper and specific source of income may commit crimes
to satisfy their financial needs. A person's need to provide food for her children may contribute to theft or shoplifting. Another factor that is
worth mentioning is the lack of access to quality education, which can raise awareness among the younger generation and prevent them from committing criminal deeds. In schools, for example
, children should be taught that academic underperformance might lead to weak career progression in later life; consequently
, committing crimes
, which has
harmful consequences, might be their only option to survive.
Turning to possible solutions, educating pupils about the negative drawbacks of perpetrating a crime probably has a positive impact on preventing a considerable percentage of children from breaking the law. In Japan, Correct subject-verb agreement
have
for instance
, schoolchildren are taught to recognize all possible crimes
and all their potential sentences. The other potential solution will be more intensified punishments for some offenders. It means that governments consider some fierce sentences for offenders. Therefore
, not only youngsters but also
every single citizen will be afraid of the fierce penalty, including long imprisonment, heavy fines, etc., waiting for them.
In conclusion, the reasons for the increased number of youth crimes
might be socioeconomic or educational factors; however
, educating people and hardening punishments can contribute to decreasing the number of offences.Submitted by mojgan.sobhani on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the task quite effectively, but there are some minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasings. Try to use more precise language and review your work for small mistakes. For example, 'number of crime commitments' could be rephrased to 'number of crimes committed.'
coherence cohesion
While the essay is logically structured, the main points are somewhat generalized. Delve deeper into each reason and expand on them with more detailed examples or evidence. This will strengthen your argumentation and make it more convincing.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction clearly states the issue and the intent to discuss its reasons and solutions. This sets a clear direction for the essay.
logical structure
You have logically organized your essay, separating the causes and solutions into distinct paragraphs. This helps in maintaining clarity and coherence throughout the essay.
supported main points
The examples provided, such as the reference to Japan's educational system, enhance your arguments and demonstrate your ability to provide relevant examples.