some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some
individuals
argue that advertising is essential to encourage people
to purchase equipment. Otherwise
, the other believe that advertisements are so usual and individuals
do not care about them. In this
essay, both viewpoints will be discussed before reaching my conclusion.
On the one hand, some people
consider that nowadays because of technological advancements and with the appearance social
media, Change preposition
of social
people
can do many tasks at push
of a button, so they believe that we are living in a global village and competitive market so Add an article
the push
company
stay in a stiff competition Fix the agreement mistake
companies
as a result
, manufactures promote the best advertisement
through media, then
individuals
should take a risk to use development. Additionally
, because of hectic
and fast-paced Correct pronoun usage
their hectic
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
people
are
cramped Verb problem
have
schedule
and they do not have time to commute on Fix the agreement mistake
schedules
street
and waste their time Correct article usage
the street
to choose
things, Change the verb form
choosing
consequently
, they trust to
Change preposition
apply
advertisement
.
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
On the other hand
, some individuals
prefer to go shopping and pick things without paying attention to Add an article
an advertisement
the advertisement
advertisement
that they see, it depends on personality, some Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
people
are cautious and pessimist, however
they trust their own ideas than others and maybe they do not want to Add the comma(s)
however,
stepping
out of their comfort zone. Change the verb
step
Moreover
, some people
have a bad experience about
buying from some adverts and they believe that because Change preposition
apply
of
there is a bad economic climate and high inflation it is better to Change preposition
apply
standing
on their own feet and Change the form of the verb
stand
do
not pay attention to advertisements.
Unnecessary verb
apply
To sum up
, I personally think that paying attention to advertisement
is Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
more
reasonable way because these days Add an article
the more
a more
people
are engrossed in social media and globalization, however
, the government is in charge to tackle
Change preposition
of tackling
this
problem and they legislate
some rules to ban some false adverts and impose Wrong verb form
have legislated
heavy
penalty on Add an article
a heavy
company
for that.Add an article
the company
Submitted by safehiana on
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task achievement
Your response addresses the task effectively by discussing both viewpoints and providing your own opinion. However, some ideas lack clarity and development. Aim to provide more specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is good. However, the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs can be improved for better coherence. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next.
language accuracy
There are some grammatical errors and awkward phrases that can affect the reader’s understanding. Consider revising sentences for clarity and correctness. Reading your essay aloud or getting someone else to review it may help identify these issues.
task achievement
The essay covers both viewpoints and includes a personal opinion, which adheres to the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates your opinion, which provides a valid end to the discussion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.