Although for most people it takes a long time to become successful, for some, it happens at a very young age. Are the disadvantages of being a young celebrity greater than the advantages.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Success is not an academic issue,

however

Linking Words

, for some parts of society, it comes when they are adults,

while

Linking Words

others get it when they are young. On the one hand, fortune brings great opportunities to improve talent when you are at the beginning of your way.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, it can stop growth by challenges you are not able to hold. Contrary, adult stars have the same benefit, but they are ready for their problems. The main advantage of being a celebrity is that it exposes young people to develop their abilities harder to be more successful.

However

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

enables them to create new content which proves their skills.

For example

Linking Words

, Paul Logan became famous as a young YouTuber filming short clips.

On the contrary

Linking Words

, nowadays he is a professional boxer with good statistics.

Although

Linking Words

he challenges The Heavyweight Champion Mike Tyson to fight with him. Certainly, Logan's star is brightening lighter than it was in the past. Despite

this

Linking Words

, his example is an exception more than a rule, because usually,

such

Linking Words

experiments end with a broken fate and poverty.

Therefore

Linking Words

, having a successful life from an early start means fighting the temptations which it brings.

Also

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

leads to related consequences,

such

Linking Words

as alcoholism, drug addiction and psychological problems because they can't control it.

For example

Linking Words

, Britney Spears was famous all over The World for her songs, she had wealth, glory and authority, but she wasn't able to take responsibility for her actions because of her youth and absence of life experience. Now she is divorced, and her heart is broken.

Although

Linking Words

, the singer tries to deal with her addictions.

This

Linking Words

is a disadvantage which makes being a star dangerous without necessary backup. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

becoming an early-age celebrity can distribute your unique talents in great measure, the dark side of glory is very hazardous and you should be prepared for it.

Submitted by interclass1982 on Thu Jun 06 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

While your introduction does a good job of setting up the discussion, it would be beneficial to be more explicit about your position on the issue. Clarify if you believe the disadvantages outweigh the advantages or vice versa.

coherence cohesion

To improve logical structure, consider using more transitional phrases to better link your ideas and paragraphs. This will improve the overall fluency of your essay.

task achievement

Ensure that each point you make is supported by ample evidence or examples. While you have provided some examples, like Logan Paul and Britney Spears, further elaboration or more varied examples could strengthen your argument.

coherence cohesion

The essay could benefit from more complex sentence structures and precise vocabulary to convey your ideas more effectively.

task achievement

Consider elaborating on the counterpoints as well. This will show a balanced understanding of the topic and enhance the depth of your analysis.

coherence cohesion

The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your argument effectively.

task achievement

You have supported your main points with relevant examples, which makes your argument more persuasive.

task achievement

The central ideas are presented clearly, making your essay easy to follow.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

314 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

privacy invasion
scrutinize
overwhelming pressure
mental health
miss out
exploitation
financial gain
financial independence
unique opportunities
renowned personalities
life experiences
peer influence
social advocacy

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
Most young people without a partner would prefer to have a boyfriend or girlfriend. Yet being in a relationship when you are young is not always a good idea. As part of a class project, write about whether you agree or disagree. Give reasons for your choices.
Nowadays, there are numerous young people who wants to have a boyfriend and a girlfriend. However, being in a relationship is not always a good choice. As such, there are merits and demerits to this idea, although I opine that its demerits outweigh the merits. I completely disagree to this idea, because having relationship in such of young age will bring numerous demerits on children life. They will not focus on their study.
4.5
band
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Some people feel that the legal age at which people can marry should be at least 21. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
Some specialists suggest that the minimum legal age for get married must be 21 years old. In this essay, i will argue about what we need to considered before get married. In my opinion tweenty one years old is a good age to take this kind of desicions.
5.5
band
ART CLASSES, SUCH AS PAINTING AND DRAWING, ARE AS IMPORTANT TO A CHILD'S DEVELOPMENT AS OTHER SUBJECTS, SO IT SHOULD BE COMPULSORY IN HIGH SCHOOLS. TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?
Classes focused on art like painting and drawing, are just as crucial for children’s growth as other subjects, therefore they ought to be mandatory in high school. The author of this essay agrees with this viewpoint.
7.5
band
Today more people are overweight than ever before. What in your opinion are the primary causes of this? What are the main effects of this epidemic?
Being overweight is becoming more widespread to many people these days. This essay will examine the causes as well as the main effects related to this tendency.
5.5
band
Some people think young people should be free to choose his or her job, but other people think they should be realistic and think more about their future. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
It is an undeniable fact that choosing a career option could be an arduous task sometimes. However, there are predominantly two contrasting views where a section of society vehemently deems that one should have all the freedom to choose whatever career he wants while others state that one should select a career preciously and carefully.

Although for most people it takes a long time to become successful, for some, it happens at a very young age. Are the disadvantages of being a young celebrity greater than the advantages.

Your opinion

Most young people without a partner would prefer to have a boyfriend or girlfriend. Yet being in a relationship when you are young is not always a good idea. As part of a class project, write about whether you agree or disagree. Give reasons for your choices.

ART CLASSES, SUCH AS PAINTING AND DRAWING, ARE AS IMPORTANT TO A CHILD'S DEVELOPMENT AS OTHER SUBJECTS, SO IT SHOULD BE COMPULSORY IN HIGH SCHOOLS. TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?

Today more people are overweight than ever before. What in your opinion are the primary causes of this? What are the main effects of this epidemic?

Some people think young people should be free to choose his or her job, but other people think they should be realistic and think more about their future. Discuss both views and give your own opinion