With growing number of populations in cities. Many people are living in small homes that don't have outdoor spaces. Is this is a positive or negative development?
In modern life, because of the increasing population in the
center
city, Change the spelling
centre
people
tend to live in some houses
with a lack of outdoor spaces. This
writer believes that this
statement has a negative effect because it can cause health problems
and the movement becomes inconvenient.
First and foremost, people
live in small houses
without trees or outdoor spaces, the atmosphere will become suffocating because of many emissions by vehicles and industry companies. In other words
, if there are no trees in people
's houses
, it will not prevent the emissions pervade in their houses
. Then
, people
will breathe all of the bad nutrients in the atmosphere and get some respiratory problems
. For example
, if people
live in small houses
located on the route street, they will not enjoy the fresh atmosphere as well as
the peaceful space to study or work, so they will have some health problems
such
as sinusitis and and
pulmonary tuberculosis.
Remove the redundancy
apply
In addition
, if a number of people
live in the cities, it will create a phenomenon called overpopulation. People
who live in these areas will meet some problems
with the movement as well as
the convenience of accommodation. Due to
the population density is
crowded, Wrong verb form
being
people
will face some difficulty finding accommodation in the centre city, so they must be able to stay in some small houses
with a lack of outdoor yards. For instance
, the trend of buying an apartment in Ho Chi Minh cities because of the lack of land to build many houses
like before.
In conclusion, living in small houses
will bring many bad effects for health's people
. As a result
, they should choose the accommodation carefully in order to convenient
Add a missing verb
be convenient
as well as
bring many benefits for themself.Submitted by [email protected] on
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relevant specific examples
Consider expanding on your examples to make them more specific and relevant. For instance, rather than saying 'they will have some health problems such as sinusitis and pulmonary tuberculosis,' you could provide data or studies that support this point.
logical structure
Work on enhancing sentence structure and eliminating minor grammatical errors to improve coherence. For example, 'the movement becomes inconvenient' can be rephrased to 'movement becomes inconvenient.'
complete response
The essay addresses the prompt directly and takes a clear stance that living in small homes without outdoor spaces is a negative development.
logical structure
You have clearly identified two main points: health problems and inconvenience due to lack of space, which makes the essay easy to follow and logically structured.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion are both present and serve to frame the essay effectively, providing a good overview and summary of your arguments.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?