Some people think that ast lessons such as painting and drawing lessons should be compulsory in secondary schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #lessons #schools

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One might argue that

art

Use synonyms

lessons must be implemented in secondary school. Personally, I

am completely agree

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completely agree

show examples

with that statement, because learning arts has many advantages for

students

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such

Linking Words

as developing their creative thinking and

cultivate

Wrong verb form

cultivating

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a sense of

empathy

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Art

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is a great method for

children

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to exercise their creative thinking.

Students

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could explore many different forms of

art

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with a lot of different

medium

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mediums

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. Take painting as an example. As we all know, painting can be done in multiple ways and does not have rules or limitations. So by learning

this

Linking Words

children

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will have the opportunity to create

painting

Correct article usage

the painting

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that they want by having trial and error in order to achieve that.

Moreover

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

trial process could trigger their creative side and make them eager to create more. If

students

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are learning it regularly, their creative thinking will be sharp and they could use

this

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not just for

art

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lessons only, but

also

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to solve many adversaries in their life.

In addition

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, not only they will develop their creative thinking

Add the word(s)

, but

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learning

art

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could

also

Linking Words

make them have more

empathy

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. In order to create

art

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, people must have

this

Linking Words

understanding about the object or subject that they use as the muse so they

could

Wrong verb form

can

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communicate it through their

art

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That is

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why

empathy

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is fundamental for

art

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Furthermore

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, by doing

art

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regularly in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

school,

children

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will develop

this

Linking Words

sense of

empathy

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so they

could

Wrong verb form

can

show examples

become not only

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

artist

Fix the agreement mistake

artists

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someday, but

also

Linking Words

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

better

person

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people

show examples

. In conclusion, learning arts is beneficial for

children

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. By making it

compulsary

Correct your spelling

compulsory

in secondary school they could train their creative thinking and develop their sense of

empathy

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hopefully

Add a comma

hopefully,

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the

students

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could solve many problems in their life and become

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

good adults.

Submitted by arsyiiimuhammad061 on Thu Jun 06 2024

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coherence cohesion

Try to improve the logical flow between your paragraphs. Although each paragraph is individually coherent, the connection between them could be smoother. Consider using more transition phrases or sentences to guide the reader through your arguments.

language accuracy

Ensure that all sentences are grammatically correct and that you use a variety of sentence structures. This will not only increase clarity but also make your essay more engaging.

task achievement

Your points are clear and well-explained, but make sure to support your argument with more specific examples. This would demonstrate a stronger grasp of the topic.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a solid framework for your essay. This helps in setting the reader's expectations and summarizing your key points effectively.

task achievement

Your main points about the benefits of art education, such as fostering creativity and empathy, are well-argued. These are relevant to the topic and provide a compelling case for making art lessons compulsory.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

290 words

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Some people think that ast lessons such as painting and drawing lessons should be compulsory in secondary schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

nowadays, some employers think that formal academic qualification are mor important than life experience or personal qualities when they look for new employees. why is this? what extent do u agree or disagree?

Some people believe that modern technology, such as the internet and smartphones, creates more problems than it solves. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

scientists and news media are pesenting ever more evidence of climate. Government can not expect to solve this problem. It is the responsibility of individuals to change their lifestyle to prevent further damage. give your opinion

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreighn language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugars which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?