Some people think that ast lessons such as painting and drawing lessons should be compulsory in secondary schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
One might argue that
art
lessons must be implemented in secondary school. Personally, I am completely agree
with that statement, because learning arts has many advantages for Change the verb form
completely agree
students
, such
as developing their creative thinking and cultivate
a sense of Wrong verb form
cultivating
empathy
.
Art
is a great method for children
to exercise their creative thinking. Students
could explore many different forms of art
with a lot of different medium
. Take painting as an example. As we all know, painting can be done in multiple ways and does not have rules or limitations. So by learning Fix the agreement mistake
mediums
this
, children
will have the opportunity to create painting
that they want by having trial and error in order to achieve that. Correct article usage
the painting
Moreover
, this
trial process could trigger their creative side and make them eager to create more. If students
are learning it regularly, their creative thinking will be sharp and they could use this
not just for art
lessons only, but also
to solve many adversaries in their life.
In addition
, not only they will develop their creative thinking,
learning Add the word(s)
, but
art
could also
make them have more empathy
. In order to create art
, people must have this
understanding about the object or subject that they use as the muse so they could
communicate it through their Wrong verb form
can
art
. That is
why empathy
is fundamental for art
. Furthermore
, by doing art
regularly in the
school, Correct article usage
apply
children
will develop this
sense of empathy
so they could
become not only Wrong verb form
can
an
Correct article usage
apply
artist
someday, but Fix the agreement mistake
artists
also
a
better Correct article usage
apply
person
.
In conclusion, learning arts is beneficial for Fix the agreement mistake
people
children
. By making it compulsary
in secondary school they could train their creative thinking and develop their sense of Correct your spelling
compulsory
empathy
so hopefully
the Add a comma
hopefully,
students
could solve many problems in their life and become the
good adults.Correct article usage
apply
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coherence cohesion
Try to improve the logical flow between your paragraphs. Although each paragraph is individually coherent, the connection between them could be smoother. Consider using more transition phrases or sentences to guide the reader through your arguments.
language accuracy
Ensure that all sentences are grammatically correct and that you use a variety of sentence structures. This will not only increase clarity but also make your essay more engaging.
task achievement
Your points are clear and well-explained, but make sure to support your argument with more specific examples. This would demonstrate a stronger grasp of the topic.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a solid framework for your essay. This helps in setting the reader's expectations and summarizing your key points effectively.
task achievement
Your main points about the benefits of art education, such as fostering creativity and empathy, are well-argued. These are relevant to the topic and provide a compelling case for making art lessons compulsory.