IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that cars should be banned from the centres of cities. Do you agree or disgree?

#people #cars #centres #cities #disgree
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Certain individuals propose that private
vehicles
Use synonyms
 should be restricted from the downtown
of
Change preposition
apply
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metropolitans. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 idea and there are many reasons
of
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for
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 implementing
this
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 rule.
This
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 essay will explore
further
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 the opinion with reasonable arguments showing an agreement with the idea.
To begin
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 with, the public
find
Correct subject-verb agreement
finds
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 themselves grappling with the traffic snowball in the main city areas
due to
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 an increased influx of cars during
the
Correct article usage
apply
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rush hours. Most of the
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
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, they have to reach or leave the office for their work. It concerns the authorities because
such
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 kinds of jams become an issue for the safety of the masses.
For example
Linking Words
, in many countries, there is no space for the ambulance to
be passed
Wrong verb form
pass
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 safely through
road
Correct article usage
the road
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 so that it reaches to hospital on time to save lives.
This
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 is why many concerned people want to ban the personal
transports
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transport
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 so that there is
a
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apply
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limited traffic on the roads and the masses have the only option of the public conveyance system for travel to their destination in
such
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 areas.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the level of pollutants rises when there are large
amount
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amounts
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 of
vehicles
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 in an area. There are many major cities of the world where the problem of pollution has become a safety issue for their residents.
For example
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, many metro areas of the world have asthma and lung cancer patients
due to
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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air pollution. It contributes to the premature deaths of the young populace and hinders the productivity of the working population. These communities
deserves
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deserve
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 attention and the solution to
this
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 issue is
by curbing
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to curb
show examples
Linking Words
such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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a
Correct article usage
the
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 huge amount of
vehicles
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 from these places. Ergo, deterring cars
to enter
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from entering
show examples
 the
downtowns
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downtown
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 seems a feasible solution. In conclusion, there are many contributory factors that
indicates
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indicate
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 that personal
vehicles
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 should not be provided access to the main city centres. One
such
Linking Words
 reason is the problem of traffic and another is the risk to the health of the residents of
such
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 places. From my perspective, the government should consider it as a pragmatic solution.
Submitted by Kiran on

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task achievement
Overall, your essay provides a complete response to the prompt by addressing two main reasons for banning cars in city centers—traffic congestion and pollution. Your position is clear and consistent throughout the essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
To enhance the clarity of your ideas, consider breaking down longer sentences into shorter, more digestible parts. For instance, "Most of the times, they have to reach or leave the office for their work" could be clearer as "Most of the time, people need to travel to and from work."
relevant specific examples
Your explanations are relevant, but incorporating more specific examples or statistics would make your arguments stronger. For instance, citing specific studies or statistics about pollution levels or the impact of traffic congestion would add depth to your essay.
logical structure
Ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next by using transitional phrases or linking words. For example, starting the second paragraph with "Firstly" or "To begin with" would provide a clearer structure.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction clearly states your stance on the issue and outlines what the essay will discuss. This helps set the stage for the reader and provides a clear structure for your argument.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces your argument. It also provides a suggestion for government action, which adds to the completeness of your response.
logical structure
You have a clear logical structure, with each paragraph dedicated to a specific point in support of your argument. This helps the reader follow your line of reasoning.
supported main points
You've provided relevant points that directly address the question. The issues of traffic congestion and pollution are well-related to the topic, and you explain these points adequately.
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