the map below decribes changes to a park in 1980 and now

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The given maps illustrate the development which took place in the
park
Use synonyms
between 1980 and now.
Overall
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, a comparison of the two maps reveals a complete transformation from a natural
area
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to a more recreational
park
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. In the year 1980, the
park
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was a much greener
area
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with a large number of trees and flowers.
However
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, during the next 43 years, the
park
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saw a number of significant changes. The most noticeable is that the majority of the trees in the northeast
area
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were chopped down and converted into a recreational garden, complete with all facilities to support group events,
such
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as camping or barbecue parties.
Moreover
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, the flowers in the southwest
area
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were not treated well and turned into bushes.
In addition
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, the flowers in the southeast
area
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were replaced by a new playground.
In contrast
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, there were no significant changes in the small space near the gate. The pond still remains the same,
along with
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the benches.
Additionally
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, one bench was added and there are four benches in that space right now.

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task response
While the essay provides a clear comparison of the changes in the park from 1980 to now, the introduction could be more specific by mentioning what's on the maps explicitly.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure could be improved by organizing the changes more clearly, perhaps dedicating one paragraph to what remained unchanged and another to what changed.
task response
The essay successfully describes significant changes in the park and provides specific examples about different sections of the park.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a logical progression of ideas and doesn't deviate from the main topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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