In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impacts of an aging population.
Nowadays, medical development improved life expectancy growth fast. As
a
the exploded risen of Correct article usage
apply
population
in every country, there are some impacts Add an article
the population
to
us. In Change preposition
on
this
essay, I will discuss about impacts of population
growth and its solution.
As world
developed, Add an article
the world
the
living Correct article usage
apply
place
and medical Fix the agreement mistake
places
improvement
Fix the agreement mistake
improvements
are
more suitable Verb problem
became
to
human existence. Change preposition
for
However
, the sources and the space on the earth are limited to the overgrowth population
, this
phenomenon will trigger conflicts easily in the sourceless countries, included
Wrong verb form
including
domain
. Correct article usage
the domain
This
tragedy is not what we expected but happening in the corner of the earth. The sources include food, miner
, water and freedom.
Correct your spelling
minerals
However
, killing is not a
option in Change the article
an
solution
,Correct article usage
the solution
kid
birth Correct your spelling
;
controlled
will easily lower the Replace the word
control
numbers
of individuals growing. Since AI technology Fix the agreement mistake
number
being
created, Add a missing verb
is being
Correct article usage
a long-care
long-care
Correct article usage
a long-care
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
career
will be Fix the agreement mistake
careers
Correct article usage
the first
first
Correct article usage
the first
Correct pronoun usage
ones
one
to be taken by AI robots, in order to keep productivity in Fix the agreement mistake
ones
lower
number of youth. Add an article
a lower
the lower
On the other hand
, elders are still a part of development in future, therefore
, population
can be balanced in Add an article
the population
a population
a
AI technology era.
In conclusion, Change the article
an
explosion
of Add an article
the explosion
an explosion
population
growth is a problem that we could not
escape but birth Wrong verb form
cannot
controlling
can be a solution to balance Replace the word
control
this
issue and let the sources
divide equally Correct your spelling
resources
to
everyone.Change preposition
apply
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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a general structure but lacks a clear logical flow. Ensure each paragraph follows the previous one in a way that logically develops the argument.
task achievement
The introduction vaguely mentions the challenges but does not clearly state what specific issues will be discussed. Make the introduction more specific about what will be covered.
task achievement
The essay lacks clear, specific examples to illustrate the points made. Including more detailed and specific examples would strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences are difficult to understand due to unclear expression. Work on sentence structure and clarity to make your ideas easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion should summarize the main points discussed and restate the suggested solutions more clearly. This will provide a more comprehensive end to your essay.
task achievement
You have demonstrated an understanding of the prompt and have made an attempt to address both the problems and the solutions.
task achievement
You have a good range of ideas and have tried to cover various aspects, including technological solutions and resource management.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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