IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework and household in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework and household in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #changes #ownership #appliances #amount #time #housework #household #country #information #features #comparisons
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The presented line graph illustrates the transformation of ownerships of different electrical equipment and how long they
used
Add a missing verb
were used
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 for domestic purposes in one particular country from 1920 to 2019.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen apparently that all
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
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 of electric appliances experienced an upward trend throughout the period,
whereas
Linking Words
 there was a downward trend in the number of
hours
Use synonyms
 doing the
house works
Correct your spelling
housework
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.
According to
Linking Words
 the period of work, people spent their
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
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 in household activities for 50
hours
Use synonyms
 per week in
initial
Add an article
the initial
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 year,
then
Linking Words
 the figure decreased significantly
more
Change preposition
by more
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 than
a
Correct article usage
apply
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half to 20
hours
Use synonyms
 in
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 four decades.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, the figure continually fell to 10
hours
Use synonyms
, in 2019. Turning to the first graph, a washing machine had 40% of
Add an article
the household
a household
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household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
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which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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possessed
this
Linking Words
 power tool, in 1920, before the number
increasing
Wrong verb form
increased
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 continually to 70% forty years later. Afterwards, it dropped slightly to around 65%,
1980
Change preposition
in 1980
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,
then
Linking Words
 rose to just above 70% in the final year. Meanwhile, there was only 30% for vacuum
cleaner
Fix the agreement mistake
cleaners
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 in the beginning, which eventually climbed sharply to a peak and steadily remained over the period.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
refrigerator
Add an article
the refrigerator
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 had nearly 0% in the first year
then
Linking Words
 went up dramatically to 90%, in 1960, before rising gradually to 100% and stayed at
this
Linking Words
 level until the end.
Submitted by saiparnwc on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words hours with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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