In many countries today, the retirement age from work has been raised. Do the advantages of raising the retirement age outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, regulations for the increasing legal working
age
have been imposed in some countries, causing disputes between advantageous and disadvantageous effects on society. To a certain extent, this
occurrence has more positive aspects than drawbacks.
To begin
with, extending the retirement age
could potentially face some challenges. One possible downside worth mentioning is the potential performance decline among aged workers. Indeed, human concentration capability and health conditions, including mental and physical health, tend to diminish with age
, leading to slow productivity. In other words
, the old workforce is prone to occupational accidents. For example
, 70-year-old taxi drivers could cause severe traffic accidents due to
decreased observation abilities and reflexes. The second downside is the limitation of job opportunities for young labourers. It means this
situation could lead to a high unemployment rate among young workers, putting pressure on the unemployment insurance fund and decreasing the growth rate of the domestic economy.
On the other hand
, it is firmly believed that regulations to increase the retirement age
could offer more benefits. The first advantage is economic conditions could remain stable. This
is because the older workforce could continue working to have financial stability. Thus
, governments could alleviate the strain of pension systems and social security funds. For instance
, older employees working and earning monthly incomes would not need to draw pension funds and subsidies. As a result
, governments could invest these savings in other sectors, such
as healthcare or education, to improve the living standards of their citizens. The second advantage is their well-being, and mental health could be enhanced. This
implies they would have enough funds to satisfy their personal interests and feel proud of themselves because they still have the adequate ability to contribute to their hometowns.
In conclusion, despite recognizing the downsides, such
as decreased performance and limited job opportunities for youths, extending the working age
can bring more positive effects than negative ones.Submitted by Mads on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
general
Ensure that all ideas are fully developed and supported with detailed examples. While the conclusion summarizes the main points, it could be more compelling by restating the thesis more emphatically.
task response
Addressing potential counterarguments can create a more comprehensive and balanced discussion. This could strengthen the task response further.
coherence cohesion
Consider varying the sentence structures to enhance readability and engagement. Additionally, checking for any awkward phrasing can improve the overall flow of the essay.
task response
The essay effectively presents a balanced discussion by highlighting both advantages and disadvantages of raising the retirement age.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both clear and relevant to the topic. The conclusion successfully summarizes the main points.
coherence cohesion
Main points are logically structured and supported with relevant examples, such as the potential risks with aged taxi drivers and financial stability for older workers.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...