IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Maintaining public libraries is a waste of money since computer technology can replace their functions. Do you agree or disagree?

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It is stated that
,
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apply
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the technology
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technological
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 advancement in recent years, might
cause to
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apply
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alter some functionalities of traditional organizations like public libraries,
and
Correct word choice
apply
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leading to lower
the
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apply
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maintenance
cost
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costs
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. I completely agree with
this
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 claim, and possible areas for the replacement of
library
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 functions will be discussed in
this
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 essay. At
first,
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newly introduced technology in database systems can provide a convenient
searching
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search
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 for any kind of
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books
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book
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. Previous local
library
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 management used many strategies
such
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 as numbering systems and tokens to identify the place of certain
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book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
, but it was a
time consuming
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time-consuming
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 and tedious task.
However
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, Current database technology has the major use of SQL programming, which can
use
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be used
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 to sort out
books
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 efficiently.
Therefore
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, any consumer can search for any preferable
book
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 or document, using relevant keywords in terms of the authors’ name, part of the
book
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 name, or the content type.
Secondly
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, the security of the
documents
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 can increase using the computer platform. In
earlier
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an earlier
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 age, people used the public
library
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 system to preserve valuable
documents
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, as those were
understanded
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understood
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 to be an important resource of knowledge.
However
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, these resources need to protect from fire, humidity, insect attacks and abuse of
documents
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, which
required
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require
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 so many safety mitigations. Since the computers are using a cloud storage system, these resources
do
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are
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 not prone to any physical damage. Notably, the cost
for
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of
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cloud
Correct article usage
a cloud
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 database is less than security expenses for
high
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a high
the high
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 amount of physical
books
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 and
documents
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. In conclusion, I totally agree with the statement, that converting functions of
current
Correct article usage
the current
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 public
library
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 system
such
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 as finding certain
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book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
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 and protecting
books
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, into the computer platform is possible.
As a result
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, the expenditure
for
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on
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 maintenance of the
library
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 would be reduced.

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task achievement
While your essay covers the specified points, it would be beneficial to include more specific examples, such as statistics or case studies, to enhance the support for your claims.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay clearly separates individual points for clarity, perhaps dedicating a single paragraph to each point. This will improve the overall logical structure.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly states the position of the author and what will be discussed in the essay, setting a strong stage for the argument.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively restates the main points and ties the essay together, providing a sense of closure.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • repositories of books
  • promoting literacy
  • community engagement
  • equal access to information
  • digital divide
  • accessibility issues
  • personalized assistance
  • educational programs
  • cultural events
  • safe spaces
  • community meetings
  • tactile experience
  • preserving historical documents
  • important cultural repositories
  • fostering a sense of community
  • communal hubs
  • serene and focused environment
  • conducive to study and reflection
  • irreplaceable value
  • distracted environment
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