IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

People in your area are having problems with their Internet connections. Write a letter to this company which provides the connection. In your letter 1. describe the problems 2. explain how they are affecting people 3. say what the company should do to help You don't need to write any address

#people #area #internet #connections #company #connection #address
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Dear Sir/ Madam, I am writing
this
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 letter to inform you concerning the
internet
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 connection issues in our
area
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.
To begin
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 with, please note that I live in the Ahmadi
Area
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.
This
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area
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 has more than 500,000 residents.
Internet
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 speed is the biggest problem in
this
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 locality.
Due to
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 the smaller number of network towers, the 5G speed is less than 1 MB in most of the residential buildings. It is worth mentioning that the low speed of
internet
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 connection is significantly affecting us. Many students are doing online classes , but because of slow
internet
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 speed, they are not able to do it.
Moreover
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,
while
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 doing some important banking transactions , booking tickets or paying bills, the
internet
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 site got closed which led the failure errors and
as a result
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, people have to face so many difficulties and follow up. In order to avoid these issues permanently , the company has to increase the network towers in our
area
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.
Furthermore
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, and as a short-term measure, they need to do the survey in residential homes and wherever the speed is lower than the set benchmark, they have to fix the additional routers and extenders to boost the network signal. I am looking forward to hearing from you and resolving the problem as soon as possible. Yours faithfully, Robert Austin,
Submitted by ahv on

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coherence cohesion
The letter generally has a clear and logical structure, but some paragraphs can be more focused. For instance, breaking down problems and their effects into different sections might improve clarity.
coherence cohesion
Enhance cohesion by using more linking words or phrases to connect ideas within paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The letter includes a clear greeting and closing, which helps in delivering the message formally and effectively.
task achievement
You have addressed all the task requirements effectively and provided detailed explanations and suggestions.
task achievement
The writing tone is appropriate and polite, showing respect and urgency without being confrontational.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • unreliable
  • intermittent
  • downtime
  • bandwidth
  • inconvenience
  • frustration
  • compensation
  • service outage
  • customer satisfaction
  • technical support
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