Some people believe that children of all ages should have extra responsibilities (for example, helping at home or at work). Others believe that, outside of school, children should be free to enjoy their lives. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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There are controversial perspectives heating up a debate over the extra liability of
children
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after school.
While
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some claim that it is necessary for
children
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to have extra
responsibility
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, the opposite makes a statement that
Children
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should blow off some steam outside of school hours to enjoy their lives. Without a shadow of a doubt, the extra
responsibility
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brings
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has
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a great impact on
children
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of all ages to help their
parents
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,
such
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as at home and work. The explanation for
this
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could be that adolescents will have more
responsibility
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and discipline by helping their
parents
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with housework and work especially since childhood.
For example
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,
children
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who are taught by their
parents
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from a young age will be highly responsible, and when they grow up they will be liable for everything they do without needing help from anyone.
Hence
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, extra
responsibility
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is vital for
children
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of all ages so that they can develop as comprehensively as possible.
While
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the essence of extra
responsibility
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is widely acknowledged, youngsters should recharge their batteries to be keen on their lives. Added to
this
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is the fact that when resting,
children
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will have a rest to reduce stress and pressure after tiring school hours. Those
children
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can play strong sports that they like.
such
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as soccer, badminton or more gently
practice
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practising
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dancing, singing, and playing the piano can be cited as one of the most outstanding instances.
Thus
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,
children
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should be able to rest after stressful classes so that they can do the things they like. In my opinion,
children
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of all ages need to be responsible for assisting their
parents
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, but they
also
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need time to rest their lives.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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task achievement
Your essay responds to the task effectively by discussing both views and giving your own opinion. Ensure that all examples are clearly connected to your arguments.
coherence cohesion
While the structure of the essay is logical and easy to follow, work on improving the flow between sentences and paragraphs. Using more transitional phrases will enhance coherence.
task achievement
Provide more specific and detailed examples to support your main points. This will make your arguments more compelling and improve the clarity of your essay.
task achievement
Remember to proofread your work for minor grammatical errors and typo to enhance the overall quality of the essay.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction clearly presents the topic and sets up the discussion effectively.
clear comprehensive ideas
You cover both views and give a well-balanced opinion at the end.
logical structure
The essay has a clear and logical structure, making it easy to follow your arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • extra responsibilities
  • develop skills
  • life lessons
  • work ethic
  • sense of responsibility
  • contribute to
  • family
  • community
  • playtime
  • physical development
  • mental development
  • balance
  • enjoyment
  • guide
  • childhood
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