Why do nowadays people spend less time with their family? What effect will it cause on themselves and their family?

It has become increasingly common today for individuals to live away from their relatives for prolonged periods than they did in the past.
This
state of affairs can be attributed to well-paid
jobs
and growth opportunities.
However
, some detrimental effects can be ignited are numerous negative feelings. It is vital to understand that an increasing number of people allocating less time to their families is
due to
high-income
jobs
and opportunities to interact with all rank citizens.
In other words
, urban cities offer rural residents numerous newly lucrative
jobs
that do not exist in remote areas.
This
allows people to seek a higher salary and have more chances to enhance their incomes.
Moreover
, people from isolated cities are enable to meet all walks of life,
thus
they can improve social skills and gain deeper insight into reality and society, which is always changed and developed. Another argument worth considering is that
this
problem leads to a negative impact on various feelings.
This
is because, they basically feel lonely, homesick and
also
stressed
due to
being away from family support.
On the other hand
, parents, spouses and children may undergo sadness, anxiety and a sense of loss.
Additionally
, long-distance relationships can be challenging because they do not spend enough time sharing emotions and expressing their thoughts and opinions, leading to some unnecessary conflicts and misunderstandings. Taking all points into account, living far away from family can increase the chances of looking a well-paid
jobs
and growth opportunities, though they have to face negative emotions.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The essay addresses the task, though providing more specific examples would enhance the relevance and strength of the arguments. Ensure that examples directly align with the points being made.
task achievement
Strive for clearer, more comprehensive ideas. For instance, explaining how urban jobs specifically impact time spent with the family and providing personal anecdotes or specific scenarios will enrich the discussion.
coherence cohesion
Although the essay does have a logical structure, there is room for improvement in transitioning smoothly between points. Working on sentence connectors and cohesive devices will help the essay flow better.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present, yet could be more compelling. Aim to revise the introduction to succinctly preview the main points. In the conclusion, summarizing key arguments strongly reaffirms your stance.
coherence cohesion
While main points are generally supported, adding more depth and details will benefit clarity. Always check that the support directly enhances your main arguments.
task achievement
The essay clearly identifies the task and responds to it fully, focusing on reasons for spending less time with family and their effects.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a logical overall structure and contains clear introductions and conclusions for each paragraph.
task achievement
Usage of appropriate vocabulary and attempts to present complex ideas are evident throughout the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!