Why do nowadays people spend less time with their family? What effect will it cause on themselves and their family?

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It has become increasingly common today for individuals to live away from their relatives for prolonged periods than they did in the past.

This

state of affairs can be attributed to well-paid

jobs

and growth opportunities.

However

, some detrimental effects can be ignited are numerous negative feelings. It is vital to understand that an increasing number of people allocating less time to their families is

due to

high-income

jobs

and opportunities to interact with all rank citizens.

In other words

, urban cities offer rural residents numerous newly lucrative

jobs

that do not exist in remote areas.

This

allows people to seek a higher salary and have more chances to enhance their incomes.

Moreover

, people from isolated cities are enable to meet all walks of life,

thus

they can improve social skills and gain deeper insight into reality and society, which is always changed and developed. Another argument worth considering is that

this

problem leads to a negative impact on various feelings.

This

is because, they basically feel lonely, homesick and

also

stressed

due to

being away from family support.

On the other hand

, parents, spouses and children may undergo sadness, anxiety and a sense of loss.

Additionally

, long-distance relationships can be challenging because they do not spend enough time sharing emotions and expressing their thoughts and opinions, leading to some unnecessary conflicts and misunderstandings. Taking all points into account, living far away from family can increase the chances of looking a well-paid

jobs

and growth opportunities, though they have to face negative emotions.

Fri Jun 07 2024

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task achievement

The essay addresses the task, though providing more specific examples would enhance the relevance and strength of the arguments. Ensure that examples directly align with the points being made.

task achievement

Strive for clearer, more comprehensive ideas. For instance, explaining how urban jobs specifically impact time spent with the family and providing personal anecdotes or specific scenarios will enrich the discussion.

coherence cohesion

Although the essay does have a logical structure, there is room for improvement in transitioning smoothly between points. Working on sentence connectors and cohesive devices will help the essay flow better.

coherence cohesion

Introduction and conclusion are present, yet could be more compelling. Aim to revise the introduction to succinctly preview the main points. In the conclusion, summarizing key arguments strongly reaffirms your stance.

coherence cohesion

While main points are generally supported, adding more depth and details will benefit clarity. Always check that the support directly enhances your main arguments.

task achievement

The essay clearly identifies the task and responds to it fully, focusing on reasons for spending less time with family and their effects.

coherence cohesion

The essay maintains a logical overall structure and contains clear introductions and conclusions for each paragraph.

task achievement

Usage of appropriate vocabulary and attempts to present complex ideas are evident throughout the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

253 words

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Why do nowadays people spend less time with their family? What effect will it cause on themselves and their family?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that in order to give opportunities to new generations, companies should encourage high level employees who are older than 55 to retire.Do you agree or disagree?

Tourism is one of the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economies around the world. However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and the environment is often ignored. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The animal species are becoming extinct due to human activities on laand and in sea l.What are the reasons and solutions?

the advantages and disadvantages of technology in education

Some people think that children should start school at a very early age, but others believe that chilren should go to school until they are older. Discuss both views and give your opinion.