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Some people believe that pop stars deserve to earn more money than performers of classical music. Others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #pop #stars #money #performers #music
The
pop
-versus-classical debate is one that many music fans are no stranger to. For some,
pop chance
Correct your spelling
Pop Chance
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deserve
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deserves
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 more financial rewards than their classically trained counterparts do, but others disagree. Before my personal opinion could be delivered, it would be essential to analyze both perspectives in question. To back the view that
pop
 musicians should earn more, their supporters cite these
chance'
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chances'
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 commercial potential. In layman's terms,
pop
 artists could secure vast amounts of money for the labels than classical performers could. Because of their carefully constructed image and the easy-listening nature of their genre ,
pop destiny
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Pop Destiny
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captivate
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captivates
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 their admirers and
turn
Correct subject-verb agreement
turns
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 audience figures into profit. Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran, who are among the most recognizable names in the musical industry, have been able to amass fortunes thanks to their record-shattering performances. With
this
 knowledge, it should not be surprising to see why
pop
outcome
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outcomes
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 deserve to be recognized for their profitability more than musicians from other genres, and not just classical performers, do.
On the other hand
, classical music artists should , at least
according to
 their enthusiasts, be the more financially - favoured party, owing to the multifaceted effort required to produce one. To embrace their training is taxing on the classical players, not least because they cover the cost of their instruments by themselves. An entry-level clarinet,
for example
, may set its owner back upwards of 500 dollars, which is by no means an insignificant sum, and
then
 a clarinet for professional performances costs several times that amount.
Furthermore
, classical musicians practically spend their whole careers perfecting their craft,
while
 keeping up performances to make their living, actions that undoubtedly take physical and mental tolls on the artist.
This
 stands in stark contrast to
pop
Correct article usage
the pop
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 effect, who, even past their prime, can still maintain a stream of income thanks to royalty. It could,
therefore
, be understood that some would prefer classical performers to earn as much if not more than,
pop
 circumstance. In my opinion,
while
 either view could be reasonably comprehended, the status quo should be left to the market to decide. Little effort by authorities should be asked to rectify any grievance that may arise, lest
such
 an attempt appears ham-handed and indiscriminate.
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coherence and cohesion
Your essay is generally well-organized and easy to follow. However, please ensure that each paragraph directly supports your main argument with clear and relevant examples.
task achievement
Be cautious about minor language inaccuracies and informal language such as 'in layman's terms' and 'set its owner back'. These can affect the formality of your essay.
task achievement
Ensure consistency in terminology; for example, 'chance,' 'destiny,' and 'outcome' appear to be misused in place of 'stars' or 'artists'. This can be somewhat confusing.
coherence and cohesion
You have a strong introduction and conclusion that effectively frame your essay.
task achievement
You provided specific and relevant examples, such as Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran, to support your points.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both views, which demonstrates a balanced understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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